Frances Lynn's Fave Raves

There's A New Blog In Town

2011-12-16T22:52:00.003-08:00

Author and Journalist Iain Finlayson and I were at Ritz Newspaper university together, which in retrospect offered the best crash-course journalistic training a scribe could ever hope to have.

Iain, who is currently the non-fiction critic on The Times, and also the book editor on Saga Magazine has just created a compelling new literary book review blog titled New Blog In Town.

But is Iain Finlayson mental?! Why should a prolific author and book critic bother to create a blog?

'I've been told often enough that I need 'presence' (charisma is the next step), so I've finally managed to work up a blog,' he tells me modestly.

But, what a beautifully written Blog! New Blog In Town includes Book Reviews, The Power of Ten (Iain Finlayson's current top favourites) and an End of Year round up of books titled Lives & Letters.

'An abridged version of this end-of-the-year round up was published in the Books pages of The Times on 3rd December. Here’s the full thing,' he blogs.

But doesn't The Times object?

'I'm allowed to post my weekly 'In Short' non-fiction review column from The Times, so not too much trouble to do that (and it gets legally round the News International firewall) and I'd actually like to review some books I don't have room for in The Times or Saga,' Iain says.

Personally, I think the 'New Blog In Town' has more future potential than The Times Literary Supplement.

John Gross

However, if the ex-TLS editor/my one time fan: the late John Gross was resurrected, then there could be some cut-throat competition as to which man is the best read man in Britain.

By the way, Iain Finlayson is not just any old hack!

His laundry list of books include the wonderful Tangier. City of the Dream, which will be reprinted soon and biographies on lofty subjects such as Boswell, Churchill and Browning.

If Iain has any sense, he now has the perfect opportunity to self-promote his brains out by blogging about his own books on New Blog In Town.

My Bespoke Astrologer

2011-12-16T22:42:00.001-08:00

I was on the verge of treating myself to some bespoke perfume for Christmas, but decided to get my astrological chart done instead after reading Victor Olliver's astrology column in The Lady magazine.

My horoscope was so uncanny, I thought Victor Olliver could well be a rival to the late Patric Walker, who once wrote the compelling Celeste column in Harpers & Queen.

In fact, I was so impressed with Victor's forecast of my horoscope that I decided to consult the ex-showbiz journalist for a private consultation.

I cautiously decided to first ask Victor do my Birth chart and solar returns. If I thought he was accurate, I would then hire him to do my birth chart (normally about 5-6000 words) followed by a solar return chart which 'identifies major themes ahead'.

The first thing Victor Olliver asked me was the location and date of my birth.

'Please note a horoscope is based entirely on time and location of birth. If the birth clock time is not accurate then the chart won't be accurate,' he warned me.

Luckily I knew which time of day I was born, and after he assured me my personal information - i.e. my birth date would be strictly confidential I gave him my personal details.

Literally a day later, I received my Birth chart and solar returns analyses complete with my own astrological chart.

Fortunately, Victor used to be a prolific showbusiness journalist, renowned for his identifiable well-written prose. So my 'basic introduction to my birth chart' was beautifully written in comprehensive Astrology Speak.

I was so impressed by the accuracy of Victor Olliver's Birth Chart and solar returns analyses, I immediately hired him to do my in-depth chart and be my own personal astrologer.

I thought I would get my request in quickly, now that Victor Olliver is already regarded as an accurate and fashionable astrologer.

Madame Arcati

Victor recently closed down his notoriously controversial and outrageously funny Madame Arcati blog, which had so many louche scoops about his victims: disgruntled hacks, shamed politicians, convicted showbiz pedophiles (Jonathon King) that the National Press, all of whom openly subscribed to Madame Arcati printed the stories immediately afterwards.

One of Madame Arcati's pet subjects was actor/Old Victor Artistic Director Kevin Spacey, who was so provoked, he eventually banned Victor from his Twitter page.

It was thanks to Victor Olliver's legendary Madame Arcati blog, that Rachel Johnson, hired him to write The Lady's astrology column.

'It happened by accident. Rachel read Madame Arcati and loved my review of her Channel 4 documentary The Lady & The Revamp. She wrote me a lovely fan letter wishing that the likes of me endured forever.

'Then, she wrote another letter pointing out that Madame Arcati was mentioned in her book, A Diary Of The Lady. A number of tweets later she asked me what I would like to write for The Lady and I replied that what the mag needed was a horoscope. She instantly asked for a sample, loved it and hired me – through Twitter.

'When we talked later on the phone, before I started the column, she plainly did not realize I was an actual astrologer. She said, ‘You’re not really an astrologer, are you? But all astrology is rubbish, isn’t it?’ She thought that as Madame Arcati, I was posing as a stargazer for satirical purposes. I firmly believe to this day that my hiring was a lovely misadventure on her part. She always calls the horoscopes the ‘horrors’.'

I remember the jealousy surrounding Victor Olliver when he was anointed as the features editor of the defunct Woman's Journal at the age of 'twelve' in the Eighties.

'It was a dissolute place. My favourite person was the Martini-sipping deputy editor Betty Reyburn who sadly became incontinent before her enforced retirement. One always knew where to find Betty – follow the trail!" Victor fondly reminisces.

Victor was originally trained to be a lawyer and was even called to the Bar.

'The law didn’t interest me. I much preferred reviewing magazines every week on Lorraine Kelly’s old LBC radio show.'

Besides working for IPC, the Mirror Group and the Daily Mail and General Trust in various editorial roles, Victor was also once editor of The People's magazine supplement.

'Robert Maxwell would fly in on his helicopter and drown out phone conversations as he hovered aloft.'

Victor, who also pursued a freelance writing career and won two PPA awards in the 90s even worked for Teletext for a while.

'I swanned off to Cannes every May for seven years on ludicrously high expenses. No wonder the company died (almost).'

Becoming an astrologer is a complete juxtaposition from Victor's showbusiness hack days culminating in his infamous Madame Arcati blog, which Olliver describes as, 'a potty-mouthed media warrior who took on all comers and engaged in psychic warfare with swine, bullies and useless c.....k c......ters. I am now above all that sort of thing.'

I couldn't resist asking Victor why he decided to become an astrologer.

'In my teens I was fascinated by astrology and read books but was put off by all the calculations – this was pre-personal computer wizardry. In any case, how could planets influence life? I thought it was rubbish.

'I just couldn’t see how celestial bodies could influence Earth life. A modern view of astrology doesn’t speak of influences any more, but of ‘correlations’. In a sense, the skies and life have come to reflect each other through long evolutionary development. I firmly believe that one day physicists will be able to explain these correlations in scientific terms. I can’t believe astrologers, who are usually highly educated, intelligent people, are all deluded.

'Then in my 40s I took a course at the respected Mayor School of Astrology in London, and was instantly intrigued at how accurate astrology could be, provided you have the correct time of birth. I passed the Mayo’s advanced certificate course, and am now in the final stages of the diploma.

'My family is steeped in Spiritualism. My brother reads Tarot cards. My mother is clairvoyante and has uncanny predictive powers. But astrology is a practical divinatory tool and may have nothing to do with mysticism. I once had my chart done in Sri Lanka on a travel trip and the astrologer said I’d end up being a guru – whatever that means. At the time I thought he was rubbish but perhaps he foresaw my astrology career.'

'Media astrology is very different from casting birth charts, much simpler as a methodology, but tricky to interpret. It’s been a huge learning curve and I am delighted to be The Lady’s debutant astrologer – the first in its 126 year history.

'The Lady is my first media gig as astrologer and naturally I intend to break into other markets and media. I have had private clients via The Lady but I can’t mention names.

Laura van Wormer

'I am however allowed to mention the American author Laura van Wormer, who wrote the Dallas novels and co-wrote a history novel with the Duchess of York.

'Laura van Wormer found my astrological birth analysis and forecasts to be spot on and it’s generous of her to offer me a public testimonial.'

Currently, Most of Victor Olliver's private clients are based in New York but as I have now alerted all of my London friends about his clairvoyant astrological reading, I predict he will be shortly doing charts for people on both sides of the pond.

The Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival goes FRANTIC

2011-12-12T03:31:00.000-08:00

Tom Bushnell. Photo Credit: John Bonehill

I know this stinks of self-promotion, but I was amazed when I saw some of the audience at this year's Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival reading my novel Frantic.

John Bonehill. Photo Credit by Neva Joy Bonehill

Austin de Lone, Bill Kirchen & co. at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass

It's probably not all that surprising as Frantic, which is partly set in San Francisco during the early Seventies is also stuffed with (hopefully unrecognisable) musician characters.

So thanks to John Bonehill (co-owner with his wife Neva Joy Bonehill of Barking Lot Grooming) for taking the Frantic photos.

'I'm an Interstellar-tourist who got stuck in San Francisco in 1973. It was only after reading FRANTIC this year, that I was able to come to terms with these facts, and realise I'm now a proper 'West Coast' geezer, ' John admits.

Thanks John Bonehill for helping to spread the Gospel!

The Christmas Jug Band Live Streams

2011-12-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

For those deprived unfortunates who are fans of the Christmas Jug Band, the Christmas Cracker 'kings of 100 per cent acoustic folk-skiffle-swing holiday highjinks', and are unable to physically attend their December tour around the San Francisco bay area .... do not wrap a Christmas stocking around your head and fret.

Thank God for technology as You can order a (click on:) live steam of the group's Wednesday December 14 show at the Freight and Salvage show in Berkeley. (Special guest is Jo McDonald).

I personally shall cement myself to my screen on that date as I am still recovering from attending an unforgettable Christmas Jug Band's 'tongue-in-cheek seasonal' performance during a recent Christmas in Mill Valley.

Paul Rogers and Austin de Lone

If you haven't witnessed their musically eccentric antics courtesy of washboard, washtub, bells, whistles, accordion, guitar, piano, bass, drums, and assorted reeds and brass, you haven't lived!

Gawp at the group's genius musicians whose line up usually includes the legendary Austin de Lone, Paul Rogers of Those Damned Accordions infamy, Dan Hicks, Greg Dewey, Ken Jacobs and Tim Eschliman of Rhythmtown-Jive ... and just count yourself lucky, 'it's that time of year' again!

A Fry Up At Dingwalls

2011-10-25T09:53:00.000-07:00

Good'N'Cheap

The Pub Rock genre was undisputedly started by Eggs Over Easy, an early 70s American country rock band which attracted musicians like Elvis Costello and Nick Lowe, whose future careers were totally motivated and inspired by The Eggs.

These musicians were amongst the 'respectful' fans who regularly 'worshipped/let their hair down' at The Eggs' musical shrine at their packed out Tally Ho London pub residency.

I was in America during most of the early Seventies so to my knowledge never saw the legendary band play live in the United Kingdom. However, a few years later, I first met my brother-in-law Austin de Lone in London where he dragged me on an endless pub crawl. I drunkenly slobbed and sobbed into my drink how tragic it was I had never seen Eggs Over Easy play.

Eggs Over Easy

But now (boom boom boom!) Austin and his fellow original Egg Jack O'Hara (Download his hypnotically melodic new album Sooner Or Later from iTunes) will be headlining in a massive pub rock gig at Dingwalls on Sunday November 13th.

This is the first time they have performed in London since 1971. And I predict I shall be fighting (with knuckle dusters) for a table in front of the stage!

Austin de Lone.

Other legendary acts playing at this undoubtedly beer sodden gig will include Duck Deluxe, who've invited Brinsley Schwarz to play with them, The Tex Pistols and Starring Eyed & Laughing. Also appearing will be the Egg's original UK drummer, former member of the Animals, John Steel, and former Chilli Willi bass player, Paul "Bassman" Riley!

Eggs Over Easy at Dingwalls. Photo credit: Jeff Dexter

Pub rock fanatic Mike Halpern, the American musical impresario who is staging the concert has warned me that tickets are selling out quickly, so pub rock fanatics flock on line to Dingwalls to book.

Celia Birtwell's New Book Wows the V & A

2011-09-25T08:12:00.000-07:00

UK cover

If you don't buy Celia Birtwell's book (published in the UK on October 3rd and on October 11th in the USA) you will miss out, especially if you are obsessed by Beauty, Fashion, Style and Art.

Celia's scrumptiously designed book (text is supplied by style journalist Dominic Lutyens) is a picturesque historical 'scrapbook' of her 'extraordinay' life featuring her designs and rare pictures of her ex-husband Ossie Clark and many friends including David Hockney, who has drawn and painted her over the years.

USA cover

'Celia is one of the most talented textile designers ever. She's brilliant .....' decrees cobbler Manolo Blahnik. Even fashion honcho Karl Lagerfeld has said Celia Birtwell is the best textile designer in the business.

On Friday night, Celia Birtwell who was gonged a CBE for 'services to fashion' in 2011 was interviewed by curator Sonnet Stanfill in the Victoria and Albert museum's packed out Manfred Gorvy Lecture Theatre.

I plonked myself in the front row with Celia's partner Andrew Palmer, her youngest son George Clark, his wife Bella (who both now run Celia's Westbourne Park Road shop) and 'Pygmalion' stage designer/ director Philip Prowse.

I was just in the middle of 'dishing' thespian Rupert Everett when to my horror I suddenly realised the cameraman perched next to me (filming the event for future streaming on Vogue) was recording the sound.

(Rupert Everett's 'Pygmalion' contract stipulated he was permitted to leave the production three weeks before the end of the show's run forcing its director Philip Prowse to audition a replacement).

Photo by Karen Cazabon

After the interesting talk, there were so many slobbering fashion enthusiasts lining up to buy Celia's book, she almost did her wrist in patiently signing everybody's copies. Quadrille, the book's publishers must have been ecstatic.

Let's hope Celia has recovered in time to attend her stand (no K336) at Decorex held in the Royal Hospital Chelsea from September 25th until September 28th where her unique fabrics will be displayed.

Richard de Lone Rocks Again

2011-09-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

Bill Kirchen (photo credit: Ian Gittler)

Jimmie Dale Gilmore

Steve Earle

Jim Lauderdale

Ryan Bingham

Buddy Miller

Preservation Hall Jazz Band of New Orleans

Caroline de Lone

The interesting 'mugshots' above aren't decoys in a Police Lineup. They are illustrious musicians! They will all be playing their guts out at the 5th Annual Benefit for the Richard de Lone Special Housing Project, presented each year by Richard's parents Austin and rdshp President Lesley de Lone. (Their talented singer/songwriter daughter Caroline de Lone will be performing at the concert too).

This year's shindig will take place on SEPTEMBER 29 at 8p.m. at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco.

Bill Kirchen and The Hammer of the Honky Tonk Gods

'Titan of the Telecaster' Bill Kirchen and his band, The Hammer of the Honky Tonk Gods, will be the hosts with the most and house band.

'Bill Kirchen, the self-proclaimed 'King of Dieselbilly' will be playing his own high flyin' hits as well as adding his steaming hot licks to an amazing array of singer/songwriters from around the country,' Austin de Lone, benefit organiser for his Prader-Willi son/my nephew told me today.

Musicians who will congregate from all over the USA to twang their instruments at this gorgeous sounding benefit are:

From Nashville, Grammy winning country/bluegrass crooner Jim Lauderdale, guitar slinger/producer-to-the-stars Buddy Miller ......and from New York City Steve Earle.

From Austin Texas, Bill Kirchen and the sagebrush soul of Flatlander and Wrongler Jimmie Dale Gilmore. From California, songwriter to the songwriters Kevin Blackie Farrell and Academy, Grammy and Golden Globe award winner Ryan Bingham.

If all that isn't Magnificent enough, the legendary Preservation Hall Jazz Band of New Orleans 'swings in to lend their funk and spice to the whole evening.'

'This will truly be a ruckus to remember!' proclaims killer keyboarder player Austin, whose party trick is to crawl up the walls when hypnotically playing his ivories.

PS. I for one, will NOT be wearing my earplugs at this concert even if it means I shall lose my hearing for months afterwards.

The Vanished

2011-06-03T06:43:00.001-07:00

Clive Ashenden is a young film maker to watch. We met several years ago at the RADA bar during a horror genre scriptwriters' workshop held at the drama school. We immediately hit it off discussing mainly George Romero's movies and torture porn.

Our friendship was consolidated after he invited me to a screening of his award winning short Snatching Time, which later freaked out the appreciative audience at the FrightFest horror festival.

Clive has just written, directed and edited (click the link to view:) The Vanished, a viral video commissioned by The Seafarers charity.

The Seafarers video, which was produced by markettiers4dc.com in aid of The Seafarers UK charity stars, and stars Scott Hinds is a successful attempt to do something different from a normal charity video.

'It's much more exciting than that description makes it sound,' Clive says and he's right.

Clive is also currently in the process of securing a Producer for the horror feature film Habeas Corpus. Although he wrote and directed the teaser trailer for it - 155,194 views and counting on YouTube, he is only one of five directors on the film and his section was co-written with Ben Woodiwiss.

Clive Ashenden's prolfic C.V. includes Code Grey (which he starred in, co-wrote and co-produced with Rob Wickings). it was awarded the Best UK film, screened in competition at the recent Cambridge Super8 Film Festival.

Both of Clive's parents are practising mediums, and when his mother once gave him regression therapy, during the treatment he woke up to find himself incarcerated inside an Iron Maiden, a medieval torture instrument. He is still hesitant to discuss this gruesome experience in depth, but the regression therapy must have done something right, for immediately afterwards, he conquered his writer's block and started scribbling his first feature script and horror shorts, for Sick Puppy Films (maker of Clive's creation: the notorious Snatching Time).

So why 'the hell' am I plugging Clive? Not only is he an original talent, but he has promised to give me a role in Habeas Corpus on one condition: if the Special Effects transform me into an apparition gruesomely beyond all recognition.

What Goes Around Comes Around

2011-05-22T12:15:00.001-07:00

Dexter & Bolan

lf lovers of 60's music want to check out the excellent acoustics in Dingwalls' lavatories, start camping outside the club (exact location: Ongleur Club Main entrance East Yard Camden NW 18 AL London) on June 3rd (from 10.30 p.m. onwards).

This is no ordinary gig, for the Legendary Jeff Dexter, who is on the committee of London 60s week has been lured in to play classical 60's sounds during the Sixties vintage themed evening there.

Jeff Dexter in the bath

'What Goes Around Comes Around,' the karmic platitude instantly springs to mind when I think that Jeff Dexter, the eternally youthfully music promoter and manager (America etc.), who was THE most innovative D.J. and Master of Ceremonies at fabled Sixties clubs like Middle Earth, Implosion etc. will be playing the regurgitated Sixties music which people can actually dance to.

According to the event's flyer: "The ultimate Mod Rocker Frat Soul and 60’s party in town, hosted by one of the main men of the original Groovy Swingin' London Jeff Dexter's cosmic visions, 60's SHAKE'N' is an official vintage dance party hosted by the London 60's Week and Raison D'etre collective. For the occasion the venue will be fully decorated with 60’s vintage memorabilia. The night is about celebrating 1950's and 1960's music, peace and groovy London, 60’s fashion. 60’s Shake ’n’ brings 'dynamite’ party time listening and dancing to the mighty selection of classics and rare 45’s nuggets from late 50's 60's and early 70's."

Alongside Jeff Dexter who will be DJ/MC for the night, Healer Selecta, the guitar-man for the Dustaphonics and Rob Bailey aka DR Roberts will also be contributing.

Their mission for the evening is to get the guests to 'come down and get shake’n' in true 60’s style.' (I'm exhausted just thinking about it!).

The only snag is, the invitation says "No Fancy Dress", but if it is going to be a Sixties themed 'vintage dance party', then surely people will be permitted to come in uniforms of that era after digging around in their vaults.

Original Cockette Delivers A Cocktail of Glamour & Anarchy

2011-04-30T23:34:00.000-07:00

Rumi Missabu is an original member of the defunct Cockettes, the extraordinary San Francisco based theatre troupe, who wowed their internationally famous audiences with their iconoclastic musicals during the early Seventies.

When I first clapped eyes on them at the Palace Theatre where they regularly performed, I was so flabbergasted I impulsively jumped up onto the stage. As a result, The Cockettes inspired me to write my first book Frantic, a novel about the hedonistic early 70s.

The troupe were so far ahead of their time, they spawned fashion trends for decades to come besides sartorially inspiring Glam Rock stars like David Bowie.

Rumi, who is a prolific star of stage and screen (Elevator Girls In Bondage etc.) has now started his first blog titled A Cocktail of Glamour & Anarchy, which is so delightful and original, it hooked me in immediately.

'I will celebrate artists who have touched or stirred me in some way sometime in my lifetime as well as post my events, appearances and film projects,' Rumi says.

If the following reads like a Press Release forgive me!

Rumi Missabu is so busy, it's a miracle he finds time to blog about the icons who inspire him. He recently toured with François Chaignaud, the dancing sensation from Paris, a tour which included Rumi hosting a live show off Broadway.

'The tour was a series of firsts and lasts for me. It was the first time I sung with a band in years The first hour with just me and the band followed by nine special guests.'

His sidekick, Agosto Machado of Andy Warhol and Jack Smith fame helped introduce some of them.

'The theater stage was trashed after each bizarre act I had booked, some sight unseen, with catsup, ping pong balls, broken ceramic photo frames,' he reminisces.

Rumi, who is the official archiver of The Cockettes carefully places the historic memorabilia and archives with various institutions including the New York Public Library for the performing Arts at the Lincoln Centre.

On May 19th, he will start rehearsing, working with a cast of ten dancers and character dancers as well as dancers from three companies on two continents with on both USA coasts.

'It's safe to say that October 17th I will host and produce my very mini-ballet at Lincoln Center in NYC as part of a larger event to honor the Cockettes archives/papers available to the public. I'm very excited but just as nervous about it.'

If all that isn't hectic enough, Rumi will be in New York during most of October and will stage the mini-ballet Off Broadway for one night only and will give a talk to the students at Columbia and NYU besides hosting a gallery show in Brooklyn.

Rumi also recently included pieces from the collection to the Denver Museum of Contemporary Art in Colorado, the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art in Arizona and the National Queer Cultural Arts Festival in SF in June. Phew!

'Scrumbly,' (another legendary former Cockette member)' and I just did a piece, a transcribed conversation, for OUT THERE Magazine UK available in July. There's also a lovely photo of me taken by Benjamin Huesby in London in 2007, in the new issue of Arena Homme,' Rumi says.

My head is realing with this original Cockette's busy itinery, but what I shall be crossing the pond for on May 17th is his RUMI PALOOZA party which he will be hosting. The only snag is, I can't compete with him in the wardrobe department - not in a trillion years!

Marin Human Race To Beat The Olympics

2011-03-29T00:33:00.000-07:00

Richard de Lone

Anyone who lives in the Marin area might like to dig out their vintage trainers and start training by powerwalking around the block and beyond.

The Richard de Lone Special Housing Project is having its 3rd annual run in the 2011 Marin Human Race on May 7th.

This year, the event's runners feature Whitman Donaldson, who is the son of RDSHP's board members Michelle and Kevin, and who has Prader-Willi Syndrome.

Lesley de Lone, who is Richard de Lone's mother will be rockin' for her son, likewise her daughter Caroline, Richie's sister. They are currently running their guts out, preparing for the Great Race. They are so fit, they could easily qualify for the Olympics!

Several of Richard's teachers from Cypress School will also be running on the day, alongside a team of neighbourhood kids - Will Coomber, Lucas Alper and Olivia Gerraty, and a team of runners from Southern Marin Fire Department, led by Johnnie Alper.

If anyone would like to donate..... go to Marin Human Race, click on Participating Organizations, scroll down to the Richard de Lone Special Housing Project link, type in the name of the runner whom you wish to sponsor, and GIVE, GIVE, GIVE! All donations will go towards the Richard de Lone Special Housing Project.

A Party On The Rocks

2010-12-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

Photo by Martyn Healer

My most 'interesting' party of the Christmas season so far has got to be Gregory Sams' birthday party in the wilds of his west London home.

I had arranged to have a reunion tea with an ancient friend beforehand in Soho. Neither of us had suspected that Saturday, the day we met up just happened to coincide with the biggest Christmas weekend shop of the year, which meant the entire West End had been completely pedestrianised (not a cab or bus in sight).

After I had left my friend in Old Compton Street, I ended up walking all the way to Bayswater Road and beyond, desperately shoving my way through the heaving throng of frenzied brain-dead shoppers.

I had tried to get into Piccadilly Circus tube station as well as Bond Street and Marble Arch, but didn't have the strength to push my way down through the densely populated crowded steps.

I finally ended up at Gregory's place three hours late and wailing with self-pity, flung myself prostrate on him when he opened the door, boring him and everyone else to death about my horror show of a journey.

Greg (an ingenious macrobiotic cook) promptly dished up his delicious home-made lemon, lentils and leek soup and offered me a generous shot of iced vodka which I threw down my throat in one gulp.

I hadn't drank spirits for years and it tasted yech-disgusting, but the hefty slug immediately did the trick and I immediately swung into the party mood.

At the end of the evening, my vodka euphoria had evaporated which saved me from rashly accepting an inebriated stranger's offer of a one night stand!

Instead, I sanctimoniously went home with a a copy of Gregory's book Sun of gOd!

Flashin' on the 70s

2010-11-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

One of my Fave Rave blogs is Dominic Lutyens and Kirsty Hislop's Flashin' on the 70s.

Dominic and Kirsty,who co-created the sublime 70s Style & Design bible have an eye on the fashion and style pulse, irrespective of what decade they choose to write knowledgly about.

So why is their blog one of my favourites? Because they have now blogged about me of course!

Not only did they plug my novel Frantic, but also its cover designer Celia Birtwell, Amanda Lear, Jack Nicholson, Bette Midler and also the legendary Cockettes too.

Not bad for one sole blog entry about the 70s!

Christine Keeler is For Sale On Cork Street

2010-11-03T03:36:00.000-07:00

Last night, I went to one of the most interesting and exciting openings I've been to in a long time at the Mayor Gallery (22a Cork Street, Piccadilly, W1S 3NA Tel: 020 7734 3558 - until December 17).

James Birch

James Birch, the most ingenious art entrepreneur/dealer in the world of contemporary art, curated the gallery's sensational exhibition about Christine Keeler who sold him her collection of personal photographs.

All I can say is, this show is a MUST SEE for aficionados of the Profumo Affair. (For the 'younger generation' who didn't live through the scandal and have consequently never heard of Christine Keeler, Profumo's affair was caused by him not realising Keeler was 'two timing' him with Yevgeny Ivanov, a Russian spy, a juicy scandal which rocked the Old Etonian stuffed Harold Macmillan's government at the time).

Today, Keeler would be feted as a 'Get me Out Of Here' celebrity, but in the early Sixties, she was slagged off as a 'call girl' in the national press even though prostitutes couldn't be 'called out' as mobile phones didn't exist in those days!

Christine Keeler's Life in Pictures is a priceless view of England's early Sixties Establishment history. It is fascinating to see her life unfold from her early days as a bikini clad glamour model (pictured with her then boyfriend Michael Lambton), and as a showgirl at Murray's Club where she met the infamous Stephen Ward who introduced her to Profumo.

Also, it was intriguing to see pics of her by 'celebrity' photographers like Duffy, David Bailey, and of course the famous photograph of her on the chair by Lewis Morley in 1963 (pictured top). This pic was decorated with red stickers.

C. Morey de Morand

Duggie Fields

At the packed out opening, I bumped into the artists Adrian George, C. Morey de Morand (nose to nose with the legendary John Dunbar) and Duggie Fields, who were all working the art dealer filled room individually.

Also, the prolific (London calling) Barry Miles (commonly known as 'Miles'), who wrote the forward in the exhibition's picture stuffed glossy catalogue (a collector's item), the ubiquitous social commentator Peter York and John Ralli, co-founder of Fix-A-Frame where a lot of the artists at the bash went to get their 'masterpieces' framed at the onset of their careers.

Peter York, James and Barry Miles

Anita Pallenberg

There were also plenty of old reprobates including Anita Pallenberg. But Christine Keeler didn't show.

I would have stayed longer to mingle with the surviving Christine Keeler set, and also people I haven't seen for thirty years (the old Daily Mail gossip columnists were still on their beat), but I had to rush back home to watch the final of MasterChef!

Kiria, The Star Who Sings Pink Punk

2010-10-26T02:20:00.000-07:00

I was thrilled to witness Kiria, the sensational looking 'pink punk' singer buying a copy of my novel Frantic in Celia Birtwell's shop when I went in there yesterday to sign some copies.

It must have been a case of delayed synchronisation, as I had been to her Radio album launch at 'My Beautiful Launderette' on Talbot Road in Notting Hill Gate last week.

This had been no ordinary music launch. The event was a glamour-puss stuffed klieg lit premier. And what made the event megawatt extra special was the spectacle of Kiria arrived in a convoy of twelve Harley Davidsons and a pink cadillac.

If all of this wasn't spectacular enough, pin up showgirls served pink champagne and cocktails in the pink back lit launderette, which was full of bubbles and ..... projections of Kiria's forthcoming video releases on the wall!

Kiria's current single is titled Jelly Baby which is guaranteed to stick in one's brain for an eternity.

I predict her next single Alright arriving in November, will also be equally as addictive. But, it looks like I might get hooked on Kiria's startling music (which she writes as well as playing her guitar). Her next single after that will be the waltz, titled Love Song. Aaaaaah!

It must have been kismet I bumped into Kiria inside Celia's emporium, because she also put me on red alert about her next gig: it will be this Friday, October 29th at the Cobden Club, London's 'favourite' membership club.

If Kiria's gig is anything as exciting as her Sex On Stage video clip, I guarantee the entire audience will be throwing jelly babies at her and her band.

After I signed Kiria's copy of Frantic, I dragged her onto the 31 bus. She usually takes taxis everywhere, so the bus ride was an adventure for her. Especially, as an old lady next to us crooned 'would you like another Jelly baby?'

I went home and promptly downloaded the single AND the Radio album from - click here: iTunes.

Celia Birtwell Goes Literate

2010-10-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

Celia Birtwell's magical shop (71 Westbourne Park Road, London W2 5PL), run by her daughter-in-law Bella Clark, her youngest son George, and their right hand/the shop manager Karen Cazabon has got a contemporary and comprehensive new website, which displays her sensational designs on its image stuffed pages.

Karen Cazabon and Bella Clark

The singer Kiria dips into Frantic

These includes Celia's original and beautiful Fashion: her John Lewis collection, her unique fabric and wallpaper, Celia and Ossie Clark's priceless vintage stuff, her 'Must Have' designs for 'Indoor and Outdoor Living', her Accessories, stationery and Books.

The Books page includes 70s Style & Design by Dominic Lutyens and Kirsty Hislop, Chequered Past by Peter Schleshinger, Wuthering Heights, for which Celia did the cover for and my novel Frantic, which Celia also designed the cover for (I am so lucky).

Dr Yan Li is A Genius Acupuncturist

2010-10-20T03:18:00.000-07:00

One of my Fave Raves of the month has got to be Dr Yan Li, a Chinese doctor (her company is True Traditions), who has practiced Traditional Chinese Medicine in countries like China and Slovenia for over twenty years.

I saw her in Neals Yard in St Johns Wood High Street.

I went in for a tin of their relaxing lavender bath salts, and after meeting Dr Li who practises there, signed up for a course of her acupuncture treatments - after she correctly promised she would cure my lousy digestion in six sessions. (I was fed up with having to abstain from gluten).

Dr Li, who has a soothing bedside manner doesn't hurt at all. After she removed the strategically placed needles, she gave me a therapeutic massage, and also did cupping on my back - never in my wildest dreams did I envisage I too would have cupping acupuncture after I ogled Gwynth Paltrow's livid cupping marks on her back when she wore a backless evening gown on one of her red carpet treks.

Also, for for seekers of eternal youth, Dr Li does cosmetic acupuncture on the face and body which truyly rejuvinates. It knocks centuries off.

I should know as I tried it and came out looking like an inhabitant from Shangri-La! Recommended!

Dr Li can be contacted at dr.li@truetraditions.co.uk or 0778 - 696 4866

C. Morey de Morand Goes Indian

2010-10-16T14:10:00.001-07:00

If you want to see paintings with marks made by monkey paw prints on the back of canvasses, head directly to the Nehru Centre, the Cultural Wing of the High Commission of India in London's South Audley Street.

The international artist, C. Morey de Morand, 'the modern day Mondrian' has an exhibition of her art which she physically created in India.

Born of French father and Russian mother, granddaughter of Gen Vladimir Sikevich (Lion of Ukraine), Morey de Morand travelled all over the world before she reached India.

During her Artist Residency in India alongside John Baldessari, at the Calico Museum, and the Sarabhai Le Corbusier House, in Ahmedabad, C. Morey de Morand created the series of painting assemblages, currently showing at the Nehru Centre (until 19 February).

These abstract painted, hand dyed and printed works were created with the assistance of the Calico Museum technicians, often working outdoors in a village with Indian craftsmen. The paints were made uniquely with the various mediums available and hand ground pigment. They were finally completed with further development in London in 2002 - 2006.

C. Morey de Morand in her studio

These painting assemblages use the same grid allusions, layering and structuring physically with hand printed, hand-dyed cloths, hemp and metal as in the other more formalised works. In this case however, the rituals of spectacle and belief are used to give a structural meaning to unfathomable existence. Always present is the structuring of society, ceremonial rites, religion, celebration and ultimately death, the void, into which we disappear, The ultimatum.

'My work is my life, my own world where I belong. I make the rules and no one can tell me what to do there. There is something that I also want to give others,' de Morand told me when I was lucky to encounter her at the Nehru Centre during my visit.

Go see!

A load of Trash Art At St Pancras Crypt

2010-10-13T21:42:00.001-07:00

There is a completely barmy exhibition titled "Flashier & Trashier" on at - wait for it - the St Pancras Crypt gallery.

This show, which is curated by the artist Sue Kreitzman and the photographer Peter Herbert is worth going to, if one is into ancient crypts or 'flashy trash.'

'Our paintings are not subtle. We ladle colour and excitement onto wood, canvas and paper. So the images leap off the surface and hit your squarely between the eyes.

'Marvel at this extravaganza of all things kitsch! Enjoy the thrills and chills of the St. Pancras Crypt, deep beneath the streets of the city. Be amazed by our glimpse into the murky voyeuristic past of often beautiful and extravagant days gone by. Enjoy memories and reconstructions of Old Fashioned Circus Side Shows,' Kreitzman enthused at the awed punters.

I especially appreciated one of the crypt's rooms which had been titled, 'Departure Lounge', (Maybe it should have been called 'Get Me Out Of Here?'). For fanatical daft art tarts, it consisted of ten men made out of suitcases standing next to pews which face the stairs leading out to a busy Euston Road.

Personally, I think the real star of this show is the actual crypt, so even if one isn't a rabid devotee of all things kitsch (I saw plenty of red stickers), the historically spooky space does this imaginatively curated show more than justice.

It's on now at the Crypt Gallery opposite Euston Station (Entrance on Duke Road) until October 24th.

Elvis, Nick Lowe and Co. Rock Around the Clock At Austin de Lone's Benefit for his son Richard

2010-10-02T15:19:00.000-07:00

Bill Kirchen - guitar & vocals
Austin de Lone - piano, organ, & vocals
Ruth Davies - bass
Elvis Costello
Nick Lowe
Bob Andrews - piano, organ, & vocals
Paul Revelli - drums & vocals
Derek Huston - saxophone

'Elvis Costello sings Nick Lowe, Nick Lowe sings Elvis' was the ingenious theme of legendary pianist Austin de Lone's fourth annual Special Housing Project benefit concert for his son Richard, who suffers from the Prader-Willi syndrome.

Backing Elvis and Lowe at San Francisco's Great American Music Hall were a six piece band including: twanging guitarist Bill Kirchen and keyboardist Bob Andrews, who played alongside Nick Lowe with Brinsley Schwartz during the early 70s British pub rock movement. Incidentally pub rock in London was started by Austin de Lone's innovative band Eggs Over Easy.

Before the evening was over, all the other musicians sang their favourite Lowe and Costello songs as well, but what excited me the most was the delirious sight of my talented chanteuse/songwriter niece Caroline de Lone (pictured with Elvis and above), who opened the historical concert with her dad Austin.

Audience members who witnessed Caroline's mythical performance were the actors Kirsten Dunst, Peter Sarsgaard, and rocksters Bonnie Raitt, Mill Valley based Sammy Hagar and T-Bone Burnette. Aaaaahhhh!

Andrew Logan Opens A New London Shop

2010-09-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

The iconoclastic jeweller and Sculptor Andrew Logan has recently opened his gorgeous new shop (above) inside his studio emporium (at The Glasshouse, Melior Place, London SE1 3QP), which now flogs his exotic and unique jewels to his rabid and appreciative fans.

As I fancied a choker and a matching pair of glass earrings, I couldn't resist making my way to Andrew's 'surreal emporium for all', where I was amazed to see the Mill Valley based singer/songwriter Caroline de Lone trying on some of Andrew's unique jewelled headgear in his studio.

So what was the charismatic Caroline de Lone doing in London? Trying to find a dynamic new stage outfit for her next concert appearance of course!

She and her musician/producer father Austin de Lone will be opening for Elvis Costello and Nick Lowe at her brother Richard de Lone's benefit concert at San Francisco's Great American Music Hall on October 1st (phew!).

Maybe I should order a bespoke, magic flying glass carpet from Andrew Logan to transport me over the pond in order to hear Caroline's hypnotic voice serenade her smitten Bay Area audience.

Elvis and Nick Lowe Headline at Richard de Lone's Benefit

2010-09-06T03:36:00.001-07:00

Every year, Austin de Lone organises a benefit concert in aid of the Richard de Lone Special Housing Project at the illustrious Great American Music Hall in San Francisco. (Tickets on sale now).

This year's benefit features Elvis Costello and Nick Lowe who will warble and play their musical instruments.

But what personally interests me is the prospect of Austin and his chanteuse daughter Caroline de Lone, who will be performing together as the opening act.

Aaaaaaah! It's so nice to see my relations (Austin is my brother-in-law and Caroline is my niece) appear together on stage in aid of my nephew Richard de Lone, who suffers from the Prader-Willi syndrome.

The Legendary Poet Michael Horovitz Gets Swamped

2010-09-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

I've just done the best barter for as long as I can remember: I swapped my first novel Frantic for

Michael Horovitz's fabulous looking book A New Waste Land.

So how did my bargain of the century with the legendary poet miraculously take place?

I was lucky to be invited to his private view ingeniously titled a 'little festival of 45 years of Michael Horovitz's Picture-Poetry' at Art@42 (Pembridge Road, London W11 3HN).

The building's prime real estate belongs to the dentist to the stars: Dr Simon Godley, who moonlights as Horovitz's art curator as as well as being a writer and an actor.

After Simon gave me a drink and freebie tubes of paste for sensitive teeth, I latched onto Michael Horovitz, who promptly showed me and my fellow early attendees round his unique exhibition, which consists of of his original picture-poetry Art.

Michael A. Sargent

The guests were an eclectic mix including the French rock photographer Chantal Coves (she also organises the yearly V rock festival), and the Pirates of Penzance piratical looking actor Michael A. Sargent (he was discovered in Borough market and shortly starts work in the new movie version of Treasure Island.

The highlight of the literary evening besides Michael Horovitz's 'must have' art was his riveting impromptu stand up poetry performance, which was so zany it motivated the appreciative hordes and besotted philanthropists at the private view to go berserk, elbowing each other out of the way to buy Michael's numerous books and art.

There's still some stuff left, so leave word for Michael Horovitz c/o 020 7229 7850 to arrange a view by appointment.

FrightFest screens Notorious Wound Movie

2010-08-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

I've already booked myself in to view Wound at this year's FrightFest horror festival at the Empire cinema in Leicester Square.

Normally, I don't go for films in the horror genre these days, as unlike the innovative horror movies of the Seventies, the vogue for 21st century fodder tends to cater for bloodthirsty addicts of torture porn and gratuitous splatter violence.

But Wound, helmed by David Blyth, the controversial NZ film director is an exception.

Admittedly, Blyth's new feature film does include images of explicit violence and themes of incest and mental illness, all of which is automatically guaranteed to excite the horror festival crowd. However, Wound is an intelligent well made movie, which will keep its audience guessing until its unpredictable climax.

'It is a psychological exploration of different shards of one's woman's mind. It deals with serious social issues,' Blyth says.

Wound, which was shot over twelve shooting days in the Auckland suburbs of Avondale and Onehunga has been described as 'an angry nightmare, hellbent on waking up the proletariat and spitting it right in its eye.'

Wound has already attracted notoriety after its screening at the New Zealand Film festival. In fact, there were even attempts to ban the movie.

Wound screenings at FrightFest: 5 p.m. on Friday August 27th and also 4.05 p.m at the Empire.

Don't all rush now!

The Nostalgic Seventies

2010-08-17T09:10:00.001-07:00

The writer and journalist Dominic Lutyens has co-written with Kirsty Hislop (pic above) the most definitive reference book on the Seventies called 70s Style and Design, which was recently published by the prestigious Thames & Hudson.

Naturally, I was thrilled when Dominic and Kirsty both bought my novel Frantic, which is about the early Seventies.

'It's really effervescent!' Dominic enthuses.

'Having been everywhere and done it all, Frances brings to life the 70s scenes – from London to San Francisco – that we documented in our book but never got to experience first hand, alas!’ Kirsty adds.

He is now in the middle of producing his next book on the fashion icon Celia Birtwell, whom Karl Lagerfeld once declared to be the best textile designer in the world. Friends of Ms Birtwell, who include David Hockney (he regards her as his muse) are currently going through their archives for photos of Celia for the book.

I don't have a grand piano to put my framed photographs on, so my pics are nailed to the walls. After Dominic Lutyens came round today, he walked off with several photographs of myself. In each one of these snaps, I am dressed in one of Celia Birtwell's unique costumes, which she concocted for the 'late' Radley fashion label years before she designed for Top Shop. So thanks to Dominic Lutyens, my walls are now completely bare.

A Vintage Cockettes' Movie Is Re-released

2010-07-22T00:46:00.000-07:00

Rumi Missabu, an original and the most successful surviving member of the legendary Cockettes has just sent me a signed edition of the remastered Elevator girls In Bondage DVD, which has recently been re-released in 'Sparkling new Colour' in a limited signed edition.

In exchange, I sent him a copy of my novel Frantic, in which I wrote about a SF theatrical troupe inspired by the Cockettes, whom I saw perform at the Palace Theatre in the early 70s.

Elevator Girls in Bondage, written and directed by Michael Kalmen, stars Rumi as 'Maxine' a 'rebellious elevator girl', as well as fellow members of the Cockettes, including Miss Harlow (an original Plaster Caster), Pristine Condition and the Cockettes' originator Hibiscus and his visually stunning Angels of Light.

The 56 minute film (with the funniest sex scene ever to be seen on celluloid) was rarely seen at the time of it's 1972 release, so that's why the new limited signed DVD is a real collector's item.

(If you want further information, e-mail cocketterumi@gmail.com. And If you are desperate to own this classical DVD of nostalgic early '70s history, send cheques or money orders to James Bartlett at 3856 Greenwood Avenue Oakland, CA 94602 USA. It costs $27.95 which includes shipping and handling and it takes 2-3 weeks for delivery).

Also, the Elevator Girls In Bondage's complete soundtrack will be available on CD soon. (click on the link to view a clip from the film).

Rumi Missabu, the Cockettes' official curator is a star of stage and screen including Bill Weber's and David Weissman's award winning Cockettes movie, and is currently starring in a revival of Pearls Over Shanghai at the The Hypnodrome theatre in San Francisco.

Rumi first trained as an actor alongside Sally Field and Cindy Williams before joining the Living Theatre theatre group in the late 60s.

'I was with the troupe when they toured San Francisco in 1968 in two productions of Paradise Now at Norse Auditorium with rocker Jim Morrison and at Berkeley Community Theater,' Rumi told me.

After that stint, he joined the Cockettes and in the early 70's arrived in New York to work with Hibiscus and the Angels of Light which enjoyed a successful run off-off Broadway.

I'm thrilled to have Rumi's signed limited edition of Elevator Girls In Bondage, which brings back memories of the turbulent early 70s when I saw several of the Cockettes' innovative shows (including Pearls over Shanghai) in San Francisco during their theatrical peak.

I had never witnessed anything like them before, so to have this updated, classical piece of memorabilia brings back those revolutionary and innovative times as well as the gorgeous vintage clothes which used to be picked up at thrift stores for a song!

Mutual Admiration Society

2010-07-01T04:37:00.000-07:00

I devoured Sam Cutler's book You Can't Always Get What You Want, which I think has got to be one of the most entertaining books in the history of rock 'n' roll.

Naturally, I was thrilled when Sam told me he enjoyed reading my novel Frantic. So, what was the loveable 'old reprobate's' verdict?

'I loved it BUT (to be honest) I found the ending slightly disappointing - I mean she "didn't find God" she found Los Angeles !!! NUT that she is/was I found myself really liking Alice - any girl that chunders into her stolem handbag can't be ALL bad ! LOL I also 'recognised' several people in the London scene which was tres amusing. All in all a 9 out of 10 Frances - good,' he critiqued.

And to think I spent decades re-writing Frantic so that it wouldn't resemble a roman à clef!

Bruce Oldfield's Affordable Couture Sale Is On Now!

2010-06-21T02:47:00.000-07:00

Miracles do happen! I just happened to be sauntering down Beauchamp Place in Knightsbridge first thing this morning when on impulse I decided to ogle Bruce Oldfield's new Wedding Shop at No 32.

The late Ossie Clark used to promise me he'd make my wedding costume, but Bruce's concoctions are ideal for a long trip down the aisle. If he had been doing wedding dresses at the time of Princess Diana's wedding (she was a loyal client), I'm sure she would have asked him to make her frock.

After I had finished drooling, I popped into Bruce's Couture Shop at No. 27, as I saw there was a sample sale on.

Luckily, all the clothes on sale weren't size zero: they were a humanely sized 8-12 and some of the clothes were even sized 14. And as the gorgeous clothes were ridiculously low priced, I greedily grabbed an exquisite dress (pictured left) out of the elegantly manicured hands of socialites shopping for bargains there.

But what was more amazing than being able to afford Bruce's beautiful couture was that he was in the shop, and to my surprise he told me he had actually read Frantic, my novel about the excessive early 70's in London and San Francisco. Bruce is very literary, so what was his verdict?

'I might say that it's not the sort of book I usually read but it's funny and pacey and is about a world that I wisely stayed on the periphery of, ' he tactfully said.

When I was a gossip columnist for the defunct Ritz Newspaper at the tail end of the twentieth century, I used to see Bruce a lot.

He often took me out for glamorous dinners at restaurants like San Lorenzo and Mr Chow, and in between haute couture mouthfuls of pasta or seaweed, he would generously tell me to borrow a costume from his Knightsbridge emporium for the evening if I was going somewhere ultra smart.

Now, thanks to Bruce's couture sale which is currently on at his 27 Beauchamp Place shop for three more weeks, I'm well stocked up for glittering soirees. Girls, don't all rush now!

A Rock 'N' Roll Artist Goes Frantic Californian Style

2010-06-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

I'm amazed! Arlic Dromgoole (pictured above with parrot), one of my favourite rock 'n' roll artists in California has now got to be one of my new Fave Raves.

He has just alerted me he's read Frantic, my 'nostalgic' novel about the excessive early 70's set in London and San Francisco.

'This is a great read … it's an adult Alice and Wonderland story for those with open minds. With the book's backdrop of the music, art, drugs, liquor, and characters of the 70's, you know how to use words that capture the imagination,' this artist, photographer and rock 'n' roll film maker critiques.

Arlic is also a much in demand portrait painter, who specialises in successfully capturing the images of his glittering medley of musician friends (including Steve Miller, the virtuoso guitarist Albert Lee, the late and lamented Norton Buffalo, John Handy, the sax player, and the sublime award-winning David Honeyboy Edwards).

And if all that isn't prolific and versatile enough, Arlic finds time to design 'one of a kind' CD covers and enjoys taking photos of his favourite musicians, including the one for the cover of the Roy Rogers and Norton Buffalo's Roots of Our Nature masterpiece (pictured above).

Arlic also recently re-kindled and managed the career of his friend, the sizzling blues musician Johnny "V" Vernazza, one of the most scintillating guitarists in the Music Business.

As I could easily listen to him for days, I confess I happily but guiltily procrastinate on a regular basis by looking at Arlic's huge collection of exclusive video clips of Johnny "V", as well as all his other musician friends on his delectable and addictive YouTube and MySpace sites.

I'd be more than happy for Arlic to design any of my future book covers if I can discipline myself to stop viewing his clips instead of focussing on writing.

My Favourite Blog Bows Out

2010-06-14T03:27:00.000-07:00

I'm devastated! Are my days of procrastination finally over? It looks like my favourite blog of all time: the cackle out loud witty Madame Arcati, which I'm compelled to devour on a daily basis is taking a long siesta.

'I'm leaving my followers for a while,' regally declares Madame Arcati.

The non-pornographic blog, which is authored by the genius astrologer Victor Olliver (pictured above), who moonlights as the award-winning journalist, broadcaster and author (Farce Hole) was censored by Google yesterday, who mysteriously slapped an '18' certificate on the popular site. (Almost 200,000 hits this year to date).

Fortunately for Madame Arcati's international fans, the blog is not disappearing from the net forever, which is just as well as it's the only one I can be bothered to read.

'I shall pop up elsewhere from time to time, as will the person who imagines he is me. My thanks for your interest, your contributions, your praise and abuse. A New Moon in Gemini is a good time to move on,' Madame announces on her final post.

It looks like I shan't have to wear my funeral drag for the rest of eternity then.

Hubble Bubble - A Magical Solution For Noisy Neighbours

2010-06-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

If it wasn't for the ace astrologer Laura Boomer coming to my rescue, I suspect I would be spending the rest of my existence incarcerated in Broadmoor.

Ever since my new neighbours have moved in, I have been serenaded by the constant bang bang banging of their teen soon's football practice during his waking hours which has been prohibiting me from writing (any excuse!).

I was fantasising about pouring boiling oil over this boy with relish, but when I ranted and raved to Laura about how this his enthusiastic athleticism was seriously getting me down, she offered to give me an 'invocation to Mercury' which Laura explained is the planet of communication.

'Dill (as a bach flower remedy). Fennel (in salads and steam cooked). A bunch of either Thyme or Lavender or Peppermint or Lemon Verbena or Marjoram near where you work (either dried or living). You might also want to mix two or three of these strong scents together, but only if they please you. You could also grow some of these herbs on a window sill nearest the neighbour who bugs you. And a A fern in your garden would also be good,' she said.

I was so desperate, I decided to follow Laura's advice and tried out her invocation on Wednesday (according to Laura, it's the day of Mercurcy as well as being the planet of neighbours). Her invocation seems to be working already as I am not even fantasising this boy will break his leg, just praying his family will emigrate to Australia during his summer holidays. AAGHHHHHH!

TLS Readers Eat Your Hearts Out!

2010-06-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

I was thrilled to see the photographer Richard Shakespeare (pictured top) taking pics of people reading Frantic at the Hay Festival of Literature and the Arts. Richard, who specialises in Music Industry pics certainly went beyond the line of duty when he spotted and snapped festival attendees reading my novel.

Richard is a truly talented photographer. He must be as he took such a divine paparazzi snap of me at last year's Nick Drake's music event at the Cockpit Theatre (pictured above), I didn't even know he'd snapped me.

I was amazed his photo didn't make me look like a Diane Arbus monstrosity like some of the Fleet Street photographers' 'photos' when they ambush their victims (I'm not mentioning names here). In fact, I was so thrilled by the photo Richard took of me, I have begged him to take my portrait photo for my next book's cover. You know what 'they' say: 'He's worth it!"

The Man Behind The Design Throne

2010-05-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

If it wasn't for Daniel Croyle, the award winning designer I doubt if Celia Birtwell's unique cover for my new novel Frantic would have existed.

Daniel is a freelance designer, working with interior decorators like Nichols Haslam. He is also Celia's regular Design Assistant, and put her painted design for her Frantic cover onto the screen. As I'm not exactly a Photoshop whiz, I asked him to describe the process to me.

'After Celia designed and painted Frantic's cover, I scanned it and repeated it in various formats until both of us were happy with it. I then also separated the design out so every colour is a spot colour and we could then play around with the colours using Photoshop. We then printed them out, criticised them and then worked on them some more! We usually have a lot of fun preparing the designs and I think this energy translates into the products.'

Daniel is also an interior designer himself and his 'Charlie' design won the Best Wallpaper Design in 2007. His fans include besotted pop star clients and trendy fashion stores like Fifi Wilson.

Daniel ran a studio for a textile printers supplying technical and creative solutions in print for top Furnishing and Fashion houses, but when he got bored recreating archived designs for others, he launched his own collection with plans to take on the world!! Besides working with Celia, he decorates hotels such as The Soho Hotel and the Covent Garden Hotel, night-clubs and bars all over the world.

Daniel originally did an MA in Computer Arts, and I was so impressed with his tech design skills, he has promised to give me a lesson which I know will be more helpful than signing up for an evening course at the City Lit. Graphic novels, here I come.

A New Art Show In Bondi Beach Deserves A Plug

2010-05-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

I wish I could zoom to Australia, as I've just received an invite from Antoinette Starkiewcz for a preview of her new Art show next Friday.

Antoinette is an innovative animator and portrat painter who recently supplied her unique illustrations for Jeff Schubert's The Little Pink Ant.

Antoinette was one of the influx of 'zany' Australian girls who invaded London during the late Seventies, and I often witnessed her decorating fashionable nightclubs in the company of glamorous escorts like ex-beefcake Arnold Schwarznegger etc.

Antoinette's frenetic party days are behind her now, as she has been incarcerated in self-enforced solitude for the past few months, slaving away for her new exhibition next week (on Friday June 4 at upstairs, the Chapel By the Sea at 95 Roscoe St, Bondi Beach).

'I've done nineteen new paintings: all are oil on canvas. Of these, four are large, (mostly landscape). Nine are medium (mostly heads) and six are almost miniatures: 13X18cm - 'The Barbie Series'. Five new large drawings (all portraits), The four original cells are not new - they're from my pre-digital era films; animation cells are now a rarity,' Antoinette told me in-between brush strokes.

I do fantasise I could hire a magic carpet to travel there.

Stars Only Come Out At Night

2010-05-06T03:41:00.000-07:00

Ex-groupies, start slobbering: it's not often that Jimmy Page (pictured with Sam Cutler, top), Richard Cole, the 'infamous' ex-tour manager of Led Zeppelin, Tom Salter ex-promoter of the Grateful Dead, the legendary rock manager Daniel Secunda, Jeff Dexter, the ex manager of America and Andrew King, the manager, formerly of Blackhill Enterprises, who managed the Pink Floyd and Ian Drury are clustered together in one room.

But this group of Music Industry heavyweights were just some of the glamorous guests at Sam Cutler's launch for his You Can't Always Get What You Want launch at Beach Blanket Babylon last night.

Sam's lucidly written autobiography about his days as a tour manager for the Stones and the Dead was first published in Australia before being republished by ECW Press, a Canadian publisher for the USA market.

Thanks to Sam's extensive Media saturated book launch in the States, his tome is already a bestseller. And one of the guests at the launch told me he's even going to translate the book into French.

Also at this exciting book launch were a sea of glamorous old faces paying homage to Sam Cutler, including Gregory Sams (author of Sun of gOd), Zelda Chesterfield (pictured with Sam Cutler) and journalist and writer Danae Brook also pictured above with Sam (one of her scoops was breaking the story about Diana's 'romance' with Charles).

The photographer John 'Hoppy' Hopkins told me he wasn't going to take any pix, so I gave my camera a whirl. Luckily, Robin Marchesi, the poet changed its batteries for me halfway through the evening.

I was also treated to an impromptu cabaret from the chanteuse/songwriter Holly Penfield (pictured above with Jeff Dexter) who belted out a song before departing for her late night gig.

Frantic Delay Due to Volcanic Ash

2010-04-30T02:41:00.000-07:00

I've just received the long overdue proof copy of my novel Frantic, which has just been republished with a new cover by Celia Birtwell (front and back cover pictured).

The excuse for the book's long delay? According to its publisher Eiworth Publishing, it was held up due to the 'volcano ash cloud'.

Frantic, which will be OUT in about four weeks time is set in London and San Francisco during the early 70's.

It's technically a Young Adult novel. I.e. it's aimed at (21st century) late teens upwards, but adults who were young during the early 70s and have devoured it, have told me they appreciate it.

On a historical note: when The Who's Pete Townshend was moonlighting at Faber and Faber as a literary editor and read the first draft, he told me he recognised everybody in it! I took his editorial Comment on board and promptly disguised the characters.

I thought I had done this successfully until Jeff Dexter, who was THE disc jockey and Master of Ceremonies at clubs like the Roundhouse's Implosion during the late 60s and early 70s spotted himself in the book. Eeeek!

Marin County Benefits Prader-Willi

2010-04-25T05:55:00.001-07:00

(A 'Government' Health warning: this blog entry should only interest people domiciled in Northern California who are interested in nepotistic promotion, rock music benefits, charity walks and Prader-Willi. If your eyes aren't glazing over, continue).

Talk about synchronisation: this afternoon my brother-in-law Austin de Lone, his wife Lesley and their daughter, my chanteuse niece Caroline will be running not in the London Marathon today but in Mill Valley, Marin County.

They will all be participating in the Prader-Willi California Foundation's 10th Annual Walking shindig at Cesar Chavez Park in the Berkeley Marina. The de Lones (pictured) will not only be power walking to help raise dough for the Richard de Lone Special Housing Project Team, but will also be contributing to the music which should inspire everyone to dance as well as run. (Also, Marin county residents: explore the Richard link on the 2010 Marin Human Race site for that event on May 8th).

If all that blatant plugging ain't enough, Austin de Lone will bring his new project, 4 A.D. (pictured) to the Masonic Hall in Mill Valley to kick off the In The Woods Productions benefit series on May 1st.

Austin, who has played with every legendary musician imaginable, has roped in some of his talented musician friends to participate in a benefit project for his son Richard, namely: Aram Danesh, (Carlos Santana, Ravi Coltrane, Michael Franti); Paul Revelli (Lou Ann Barton, Carlene Carter, Jimmie Vaughan, Boz Scaggs, Charlie Musselwhite), and Eric McCann (Freaky Executives, Howard Tate, Bonnie Raitt, Clarence Clemons).

Austin used to host the Open Mic evening at the late Sweetwater in Mill Valley. It was an intimate venue for all the industry's musicians and I used to love gawping at my old teen idols jamming there. As a lot of the Sixties' dinosaur rock stars now live in Mill Valley, they will be grateful that they are going to have their regular musical meeting place once more.

The Grateful Dead's Bob Weir, a longtime Mill Valley resident recently performed in the Masonic hall with bandmate Phil Lesh while they were rehearsing for their Further debut tour. And Weir has even now come in with his technicians to help design a new sound system for the hall.

When the Sweetwater closed, the nightlife in downtown Mill Valley was dead as a dodo, but due to the resurrection of the Masonic, the music scene there is already resurrecting.

A Sixties Reprobate Makes Tech Publishing History

2010-04-08T02:30:00.000-07:00

It's comforting to know that not all Sixties survivors are brain damaged wrecks. Sam Cutler, the former tour manager for the Stones and the Dead has successfully re-invented himself in the 21st century, his elephantine memory intact.

I hope this doesn't all sound like a press release: Sam's highly entertaining rock 'n' roll memoirs, You Can't Always Get What You Want has just made tech/publishing history: it's the first book to be simultaneously released with its multimedia iPhone app, which contains the 'full Cutler-narrated audiobook synchronized with the text, video links to two interviews, and more than 30 photos (some exclusive to the app).'

Sam featured in the Albert and David Maysles directed Gimme Shelter 'snuff' documentary, which unwittingly recorded the murder of a fan by a Hells Angel at the disastrous Altamont concert.

Tech buffs, take note: the iPhone app (the multimedia elements were developed by Expanded Books/Apps, and Ironic Apps, a firm run by former Rolling Stones business manager Ron Schneider) includes clips of the concert, which Cutler lucidly reminisced about in his book. (Incidentally, it was originally published in Australia through Random House and has now been republished by ECW Press, a Toronto based publisher for the American market).

Sam Cutler, a Brit who currently resides in Australia will be doing a mammoth book tour, commencing on April 13 in the States including Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Toronto, New York and will be in London in May. Flags will be raised, especially as he will take part in a Webcast that will be streamed live to iPhones on April 25. 'Get Yer Ya-Ya's Out!'

A perfect Venue For A Book Launch

2010-03-31T09:52:00.000-07:00

Gregory Sams' lectures, which elaborate on his classic book Sun of gOd (top pic) seem to habitually coincides with no-sun-show weather.

I failed to attend Greg's last talk at the Moot With No Name in February due to the ice age climate. Last night, I was tempted not to battle it out on the tube for the same reason. But I'm pleased I managed to haul my carcass in the pouring rain to Holborn's October Gallery (pictured) where Gregory had been booked in to appear.

His fascinating talk was a sell-out and its general theme, 'the Sun is a conscious, living organism residing in a thriving galactic community, thinking stellar thoughts that span the entire universe,' goaded the earnest audience to ask lots of probing scientific questions afterwards, including the old chestnut: 'do multiple universes exist?' (Gregory eloquently disputed this theory, humorous details of which are in his book).

In the audience, I spotted Rupert Sheldrake, the famous biologist discoverer of 'morphic resonance, which leads to a vision of a living, developing universe with its own inherent memory', and dancer Stefani Crone (pictured with Jeff Dexter) who gave me a guided tour of the gallery.

Endangered species included the iconic photographer John 'Hoppy' Hopkins (pictured with Jeff Dexter's back), one of the founders of London's underground during the 60s. (His hippy credentials include founding International Times, setting up the London Free School and starting London's first psychedelic club, UFO). The bottom photographs including the one of Chili Hawes, the October's director plus Gregory were snapped by him.

Greg's successful talk inspired the rabble to buy Sun of gOd, which should be in the school curriculum. But, authors and publishers take note: what interested me was that the October art gallery, which was founded in 1978 and specialises in exhibiting art from diverse cultures from all over the globe is an ideal venue for a book launch, especially as it has a vast courtyard, perfect for esoterically minded smokers (Greg's book was launched there last year).

Andrew Logan Delivers

2010-03-29T04:11:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness I'm wearing waterproof mascara. I've just received a surprise birthday present from Andrew Logan (the cover of his biography An Artistic Adventure is pictured) in the post.

Luckily, Andrew's gift (a pair of his unique one-off earrings and a matching broach) arrived safely, even though it hadn't been escorted by Fort Knox styled security.

It's so handy being friends with a sculpturist who prolifically creates original jewellery. (His jewels can be bought on line from his Andrew Logan website).

Incidentally, I first ogled Andrew during the early Seventies in Gillian Gregroy's tap dancing class at the old Dance Centre in Covent Garden's Floral Street. Andrew was one of the best dancers in the class and was a permanent fixture in the front row. I made sure I stood behind him, copying his every tap move. We've been buddies ever since.

A Surprise Promenade Plan for London

2010-03-24T04:21:00.000-07:00

Michael Davis (pictured by Piers Atkinson) is an ingenious designer, who has created some of the most innovative pads in London including ones for Zandra Rhodes and Andrew Logan (thanks to Michael's vision, his unique S.E.1. studio is extraordinary).

Michael's mission in life, which started when Ken Livingstone was the late mayor of London consists of battling to get his ingenious London Promenade idea off the ground.

Michael's genius plan (Michael, send me my payola fiver via PayPal!) consists of an extension to the existing river walk along the south bank of the River Thames, via Bankside, Borough Market, and the Pool of London to Butler's Wharf. The promenade would create a new extension to the existing promenade at the South Bank Centre, eastwards from Gabriel's Wharf, along the south bank of the Thames, via Bankside, Borough Market and the Pool of London, to connect with the existing jetty at Butler's Wharf.

'It would be the logical conclusion to the successful but partial and piecemeal improvements to the River Walk over the last decade. Significantly enlarged, incorporating jetties and piers, over the water and under bridges, the London Promenade would benefit the capital as a whole by creating a new, accessible, major waterfront park for the 21st century,' Michael enthuses.

Although the construction of the promenade would cost millions and involve four new piers, at Oxo Wharf Tower, at the west entrance of the Tate Modern, at Borough Market and at Potter's Field, it seems a logical plan. For it is estimated that it would bring a further 30 million people to the riverside and an extra £650 million in per annum.

Thanks to Michael's persistent and fervent crusade over the years (I wouldn't have been surprised if he had resorted to parachuting into London's City Hall with a bribe box of Cadbury's Milk Tray for Ken or Boris), according to the Twitter updates on the London Promenade blog, it finally looks like his promenade idea could actually happen in time for the Olympics.

John Lewis Changes Its Spots

2010-03-12T15:05:00.000-08:00

Shoppers at John Lewis, watch out! Celia Birtwell's new collection for the store is to be launched on its first floor next week.

I've been a fanatic of Celia's original designs for decades. I'm not the only one. I was a witness when Karl Lagerfeld announced she is the best textile designer in the fashion industry.

I 'revered' Celia's unique prints which adorned her then husband, Ossie Clark's clothes, and was eternally grateful to her during my party going gossip days in the late Seventies.

After I was forced to change into an evening gown behind a tree at the Berkeley Square ball, as I hadn't had time to go home and change, she designed a costume especially for me. It was a black and white reversible costume with a Cocteau-esque print, which was suitable for night or day. If it hadn't rotted from prolonged over use, I would still be wearing it day and night today.

When Celia invited me round to her house this afternoon to ogle her new John Lewis collection, I raced over for an exclusive preview. The experience was much more civilised than when I lined up at dawn alongside the greedy hoards outside Topshop, who fought and killed to buy her stuff, all of which sold out completely in the first five minutes.

I have no idea how Celia dreams up the names for her colourful clothes. There were (reasonably priced) "Pussybow Cherry Spott" silk dresses, "Cherry Spot" print dresses, "Romania Dancer" and "Romanian Spot frocks" galore (I love the title for her old classic 'animal beastie' print the best). I adored the "Cherry Spot" Smock blouses and the "Pussy bow" silk dresses, but best of all I craved a pale eau de-nil printed silk blouse, which I would take good care of in case the Victoria and Albert museum needs it for one of their future exhibitions.

Facebook Has Its Uses

2010-03-11T05:17:00.001-08:00

I was just about to go cold turkey and quit the addictive Facebook for the rest of eternity, when my sister Lesley called to report she had just dutifully gone to see her husband/my brother-in-law Austin de Lone play in the Barry “The Fish” Melton Band in Monte Rio California.

After the gig, she met the legendary Barry Melton, the co-founder and original lead guitarist of Country Joe and the Fish (Barry 'moonlights' as a criminal defense laywer and last year retired as Public Defender of Yolo County), and informed him I was on Facebook. As a result we have linked up.

When I was a teenager, Country Joe and the Fish's hypnotic first album Electric Music For the Mind And Body was mind blowing! Not in a million years, would I have foreseen that ex-Dinasour Barry Melton would one day be a cyberspace friend when I relentlessly played the album at top decibel volume to my bemused aunt and uncle (Frank Sinatra fans) in their house in Beverley Hills.

Immediately after I linked up with Barry, I called up the 60's DJ Jeff Dexter to ask him if I saw Country Joe and the Fish play at his psychedelic music clubs, Middle Earth and the Roundhouse. Jeff joked if I couldn't remember seeing them, then I must have been there!

I'm sure my memory will be revived when I see Melton perform in the summer as his band will be touring in the UK then. And as I sold my last vinyl collection centuries ago, I shall now officially download Electric Music For The Mind And Body for a trip down memory lane.

P.S. Although I'm not officially Barry Melton's PR (!), his next gig is on March 13th at The Saloon. Austin will be on keyboards, another old musical hero: ex- Big Brother and the Holding Company's Peter Albin will be on base and Roy ("The Blues Project" and "Seatrain") Blumenfeld will be on drums. I do hope this plug will guarantee me a seat.

Willing To Die For It

2010-03-02T09:43:00.001-08:00

I have recently been feeling a bit bored with insidiously promoting my friends and family on this blog, even though the payola I receive from my subjects is almost worth the effort. Now, for a refreshing change I can plug ME ME ME!

Last year, I was afflicted with RSI in my thumbs, mainly caused by knocking out a commissioned biography titled Willing to die for it in record time on Dr Sammy Lee (pictured), a charismatic scientist who was an early IVF pioneer and is currently interested in stem cell therapy and human cloning.

I previously didn't know anything about IVF, except for the horror stories barren girlfriends told me about the rigmarole of trying to have an IVF baby. Luckily for me, Sammy is such a fascinating raconteur, I could have listened to him all day reminiscing about his fascinating career, which was what I did while interviewing him for the book.

The book, published by, and directly available from Murray Print (whose last title was on the revolutionary Medical Officer of Health, Dr Raymond "Paddy" Donaldson), is also for sale on Amazon.co.uk and in book stores. The title is Willing To Die For It, due to the fact Sammy dedicated his life to IVF to such an extent, he neglected his health culminating in a debilitating heart attack.

I was enthralled by Lee's life story. He started at UCL before leaving the world of Academia for the then innovative world of IVF , but he is unlike any academically minded specimen I have ever met. He is a maverick scientist who after doing postdoctoral research period at UCL, joined the Humana Wellington Hospital as a clinical embryologist a few years after Steptoe and Edwards (who were responsible for the birth of the world's first IVF baby Louise Brown) offered IVF to the nation. The NHS didn't want it then, but thanks to Lee's crusading efforts, the NHS eventually did.

Lee also helped pioneer GIFT (Gamete Intra-fallopian Transfer) in the UK and soon afterwards became the research director of a number of IVF units in the country. His IVF work helped the UK Industry grow from about 5000 cycles a year in 1986 to 37,000 a year in the early Noughties, now touching 50,000 a year, and he helped establish many of the eighty clinics now in existence. Lee contributed to the existence of many of the IVF babies in the United Kingdom' (a lot of them born to grateful famous parents) and was even turned into a character in the best selling debut novel of one of his grateful patients.

Yes, thanks to Sammy, I am educated about the world of IVF and what is comforting to know is that if I do want a baby at the age of seventy, I shall know who to consult. And who knows? By then human cloning might have been made legal.

She Ain't Jail Bait No More

2010-02-23T09:21:00.001-08:00

Marin County, watch out! The talented Caroline de Lone is finally legal! She's eighteen years old today and has been given a new guitar to play her own compositions on - handy as she is currently recording her first album produced by her father Austin. Happy Birthday Caroline! It's going to be YOUR year!

Greg Sams Gives Talk At Occultist Bookstore

2010-02-09T05:23:00.000-08:00

One thing about my friends, they do lure me out to the most curious venues.

Gregory Sams, the cerebral author of Uncommon Sense and his most recent book, the best selling Sun of gOd will be the main speaker this Wednesday February 9 (7.30 p.m.) at the Moot With No Name.

I've never heard of this bubbling pagan hotpot, but I understand it's London's 'premier' weekly meeting place for occultists and magicians. To save my wonky hands, get info for the event from this site: Atlantis Bookshop Events.

Almost Better Than Polygamy

2010-01-29T13:15:00.001-08:00

At character actress Marianne Stone's (above pic) fun and tearful memorial party held at Lauderdale House, I was impressed how Mary Noble's (Marianne's real name) youngest daughter Kara Noble manages to stay best friends with all of her exes.

Although Kara (who now has a Property Empire) emigrated to Los Angeles after her glittering career as a radio presenter came to an abrupt end, she has managed to stay closely in touch with all of her ex UK based husbands.

While she was entwined with Bruce, her current American beau at the bash, she merrily reminisced with three of her ex-husbands: husband number one - Robert Frew (bottom pic - on the right), an antiquarian book seller and father of Kara's son Nick. Husband number two: ex-Capitol Radio producer Simon Booker (pic 6), now a TV writer. Partner number three: advertising guru Nick Fox (bottom pic - on the left), a scion of the Fox's Biscuit Family, and even an old flame whom she dated in her teens: the musician and film composer Nick Laird-Clowes (pic 5) when they both had waist length hair.

What's also amazing is that all of Kara's ex-husbands and partners are all the best of friends. How does she do it?!

Terence Pepper Delivers The 60s

2010-01-22T14:40:00.000-08:00

This photo (double click on it) by Natalia Calvocoressi shows Terence Pepper, the Curator of the Beatles to Bowie: The 60s Exposed exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery and some of his staff, plus Rootstein models of the 1960s Including: Pattie Boyd in a dress by Ossie Clark with a print by Celia Birtwell, Twiggy and Sandie Shaw in Biba and Jill Kennington (who used to be my favourite model) in Mary Quant. Phew!

When Terence offered to give me a guided tour of his exhibition today, which he devised as well as curated, I jumped at the chance.

'And come and see the two princes,' he said.

At first I thought he was referring to Edward and Richard incarcerated in the Tower before I realised he was referring to the 'historic' portrait of William and Harry by Nicky Philipps in the gallery which is the first one of them together.

After I had curtsied in front of the pic, Terence took me round the exhibition which is one word 'dynamic'. The show comes off on Janaury 24th, but Londoners who missed it will be able to catch it at Newcastle (the Laing Art Gallery) and Norwich Castle Museum and Art Gallery as part of the tour.

Over 100 of the 150 photos have never been displayed before, and Terence meticulously filled me in on each photograph while we went round the exhibit (there's also an incredible pic of Shirley Bassey by Mary McCartney).

The entire show was like a blast of déjà vu. I ogled the antique memorabilia and photographs taken by the 60s photographers, who were responsible for making the singers and groups perennially famous with their different images during the decade. Snappers included David Bailey (his pics were the biggest in the show!), Gered Mankowitz, Robert Whitaker, Brian Duffy, Terence Donovan, Richard Avedon and too many more to laundry list here.

Eavesdropping bystanders were fascinated by Terence's gossipy stories behind the pics, which included the likes of Helen Shaprio, Cliff Richard, The Shadows, Johnny Kidd (snapped by the legendary Angus McBean), Adam Faith (snapped by Cecil Beaton), Bob Dylan in 1966, Mick Jagger with Francoise Hardy, the Rolling Stones, Dusty, Jimmy Hendrix, The Who, Bob Dylan and a gem of a pic by Dezo Hoffman: Steampacket with Rod Stewart and Long John Baldry dressed as Mods, Julie Driscoll and Brian Auger. Aaaaagh!!!

While Terence continued his way through the show discussing the pics, he attracted more and more eavesdropping followers until by the time we arrived in 1969, he had a congo of fascinated hanger-ons who were so impressed by his rhetoric, they all bought his book. I was so overwhelmed by the exhibition, that I even got a copy of Terence's glossy Book (with an essay by Jon Savage) of the show - a real collector's item especially as Terence signed it.

Terence then showed me around the Twiggy: A life In Photographs exhibit which is in the gallery's Siberia room 33, and will be on until March 24th. The only sign of Justin de Villeneuve was a co-credit on one of the stills, I wonder why?! (There's also a book out on Twiggy by Pepper called Twiggy: A Life In Photographs which proves how prolific he really is).

Art Shows Should Have A Government Health Warning

2010-01-22T03:05:00.000-08:00

I blame the planet's accelerating over population for over crowded art galleries, and intend to invest in a crash course of pushing and shoving especially for the Van Gogh exhibition at the Royal Academy.

I thought I would have a civilised evening when I popped into Peter Clossick's and Julie Held's new exhibition at the Boundary Gallery in leafy St Johns Woods.

But my relaxing evening was not to be, as I was literally pressed against the paintings by the enthusiastic hoards of critics and duffel coated art enthusiasts. Thankfully for my New & Lingwood coat, the oil paint on the canvasses was dry.

It would be worth striving to be a famous artist just for the perks. Once, when David Hockney was still a peroxide blonde, he took a small group of us (three in all) round a Matisse exhibition at an empty Hayward Gallery before the show had even previewed.

But, what impressed me more than Hockney's knowledgeable guided tour was the curator: after unlocking the gallery especially for us, he made us all a cup of tea before we traipsed round the exhibition. Bliss!

70s Style and Design Plug In Aid of Haiti

2010-01-18T15:43:00.000-08:00

Dominic Lutyens has co-written with Kirsty Hislop the most definitive reference book on the Seventies called 70s Style and Design. (Dominic and Kirsty, please send my 'fiver' for the plug to the Haiti appeal).

Dominic is now in the middle of producing his next book on Celia Birtwell (for Quadrille), whom Karl Lagerfeld once declared to be the best textile designer in the world. Friends of Ms Birtwell, who include David Hockney are currently raiding their archives for (incriminating?!) photographs of Celia for Dominic's new book.

I don't have a grand piano to put my framed photographs on, so all my pics are nailed to the walls. After Dominic came round today, he walked off with several photographs including some of me dressed in a one off costume designed by Birtwell. Fashion pundits take note: she made this reversible outfit when she was designing clothes for the 'late' Radley fashion label, way before she designed stuff for Top Shop.

Unfortunately, I no longer have a shrine to Celia Birtwell, as after Dominic had finished looting the snaps of her, my walls were left bare. Is this the modern way to do picture research?

The Best Candidate for Film 2010

2010-01-14T09:07:00.000-08:00

People are saying that the film buff Mark Kermode is the first in line to replace the 'late' Jonathan Ross for his BBC Film 2010 slot. Mark insists he hasn't yet heard anything about the job from the BBC, so maybe the BBC are using Ross's departure as a good excuse to drop their Film programme which 'nobody watches'.

Admittedly, photogenic Film buff Mark Kermode would be an excellent choice to present the programme, even though sometimes he lacks good judgement. I.e. it's common knowledge his number one pin up is The Exorcist's Linda Blair.

However, I think the encyclopedic film critic Alan Jones (pictured), who knows 'everyone' in the Film Industry and is a member of the Critics' Circle should be given the job. For a start, he knows more about horror films than anybody else in the Industry, has written scores of film books including Rough Guide To Horror Movies, and at the moment is toiling on his friend Guillemo Del Toro's authorised biography.

Alan, who founded and co-runs the annual FrightFest horror film festival, has an army of respectful film disciples including Kermode, whom Alan adopted as his Trilby straight after Mark got out of university and started out as a print critic.

If all those perfect credentials aren't enough to persuade the BBC to hire Mr Jones as their film guru, they should also read his regular FrightFest gossipy film blog, which alone should persuade the Beeb's powers that be to seriously consider him for the coveted Film slot role.

(Incidentally, on February 16th, Alan and David McGillivray, the veteran film producer/critic/screenwriter will be at the Lighthouse in Brighton - 28 Kensington Street - to talk about 'all things horror'. Click on Alan's FrightFest Blog for details of ‘Under the Skin of the Horror Genre’ event which starts at 6.30 p.m.).

"Growing Old Is Not For Sissies"

2010-01-05T01:50:00.000-08:00

My first Fave Rave of 2010 has got to be Sat Raimondo (click on his link for his contact details), a miraculous healer who has a vast repertoire including invigorating Indian head massages and psychic readings.

He came to my rescue over the weekend when he gave me a therapeutic hand massage, which has enabled me to key tap without pain once more.

He also sensibly advised me not to key tap for long stretches at a time but to take breaks - I shall dig out my egg timer then.

It's a relief to know he is on permanent standby when my hands (especially my damaged thumbs) get into chronic trouble again (I got RSI in my thumbs last year when I knocked out "I Was Willing To Die For It", a book - out this month - on the scientist Dr Sammy Lee).

Bette Davis was right when she said that "growing old is not for sissies."

Character Thespian Dies Peacefully

2009-12-27T01:09:00.001-08:00

I wept buckets to learn that an old family friend, the prolific character actress Marianne Stone (in real life Mary Noble), who appeared in hundreds of movies including nine Carry On films died just before Christmas. She was the wife of the late showbiz writer Peter Noble whose last job was the editor of Screen International.

I loved Mary to bits! Before Peter got his job at Screen International, the Nobles entertained constantly at their Sunset Boulevard styled house in St Johns Wood. At every party, they roped their daughters Katina and Kara - the LA based ex-Capital Radio breakfast DJ, who now owns the property empire Noble Apartments, and their teenage friends (including me and my sisters) to serve the drinks and canapés to their show business friends.

'Give a peanut to Dudley Moore,' Mary used to say giving us a bowl of nuts, pushing us in his direction.

Going round to the Nobles' house was heaven, especially as each time there were friends like Paul McCartney, Shelley Winters (once I walked in on her when she was on the loo), and Peter O' Toole there.

And as my family lived round the corner from the Nobles, I daily used to run down the road to their house and have lengthy one to one sessions with Mary/Marianne discussing showbiz and men (one of her admirers was Donald Sutherland).

So, naturally I was devastated when Kara told me just before Christmas that Mary (87 years old) had peacefully popped off at home surrounded by her daughters Katina and Kara, plus her grandson, the video director Nick Frewe.

'I've had a fabulous life,' she said before she expired.

It was true, as she and Peter reigned as King and Queen at Cannes for years when the film festival was at its most glamorous, and were even the pampered guests of Imelda Marcos at the Philippine Film Festival in its hey day.

In typical showbiz Noble fashion, Kara has already organised an over subscribed memorial party for her late Mum in January and armed with waterproof mascara, I shall be there.

Peter Eyre Has A Stalker

2009-12-16T06:44:00.000-08:00

(I'm typing this with my toenails). I went to Zanita and Brian Smedley-Aston's for dinner at their spectacular stage set of an apartment in the West End last night. Brian (his uncle Frank Launder wrote, produced and directed the first four St. Trinian's films with his partner Sidney Gilliat) used to be an international film editor - one of his many credits was the legendary Performance - before becoming a movie producer. One of his films was the infamous Vampyres, the classic horror lesbian vampire film which incidentally is to hit Blu-ray Uncut on March 30th, 2010.

Over Zanita's delicious coq au vin dinner washed down with vintage champage, I was amazed to discover that the classical thespian Peter Eyre had recently moved into the Smedley-Astons' apartment block and now resides in the flat below them.

Although the last time I clapped eyes on Peter was several years ago when he 'was' Ken Tynan in Smoking With Lulu (unfortunately, I didn't see him in Jude Law's Hamlet), I drunkenly wrote him a deranged letter and impulsively shoved it through his letterbox. I don't care if Peter thinks he's now inherited a stalker, I'm a fan!

(In Peter Schleshinger's divine book Checkered Past, full page photos of Peter Eyre and myself appear on pages next to each other! Aaaaaaah!).

The Alexander Technique Might Save My Bacon

2009-12-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

I'm currently reduced to blogging with my fingernails, as I'm suffering from a flare up of RSI in my thumbs due to excessive key tapping. In order to avoid having to pick things up with my teeth, and resorting to use voice recognition software, I'm going to hang up my hands for a bit until they recuperate. At least I've got a good excuse not to send out Christmas cards this year, as at the moment I'm unable to forge my signature without difficulty.

But all is not bleak, as I have managed to book myself in for a concentrated course of Alexander Technique sessions (a long waiting list) with my local practitioner (Paul Burge) who sleeps, dreams and breathes it. He said if I brought my laptop in to see him, he would instruct me exactly how to work with it, which could be the eternal RSI cure I've been searching for.

And yes, I booked myself in before discovering that the bunion afflicted Victoria Beckham is a new convert, which could prove that the Alexander Principle, founded by F. Matthias Alexander (pictured) is going to be the next 'must have' fashion accessory.

Madame Arcati Makes Me Procrastinate

2009-12-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

I'm hopelessly hooked on Madame Arcati's laugh out loud, hysterically funny gossipy blog, which I compulsively devour on a daily basis. And the witty and bitchy Comments are worth reading too, as they are provided by international journalists, writers, publishers and movie stars etc., most of whom post anonymously.

Because Madame Arcati (in real life, Arcati is the journalist and writer Victor Olliver) is my favourite blog of all time, I was THRILLED when 'she' put my first novel Frantic on her Christmas book shopping list. I was even more thrilled to see what exalted literary company I'm keeping on her sidebar: a convicted criminal authoress and Jonathan King, who's written his autobiography. Poor bugger!

Thanks to Madame Arcati, I see several new copies of Frantic have now been sold, which proves that on line publicity really does work.

Fran Meets Polly In Cyberspace

2009-12-01T09:04:00.000-08:00

In 1979, I interviewed Fran Lebowitz for Ritz newspaper over tea at Browns Hotel. The celebrity photographer Michael Birt took this nostalgic still of her which he has just discovered in his archives. Michael, who's currently got a photograph of the playwright Polly Stenham in the Taylor Wessing Photographic Prize at the National Portrait Gallery had to sneak the picture as the hotel didn't allow professional photographers to shoot in their foyer. Also, I couldn't hear everything what Fran was saying as she softly garbled her words but we managed!

An Astrologer Who is Always Right

2009-11-30T05:53:00.000-08:00

Gregory Sams who is the author of the fascinating bestseller Sun of gOd is such an ingenious macrobiotic cook, even his roasted pumpkin seeds are more addictive than chocolates. Over stuffing my guts at his birthday bash last night, I met an interesting astrologer called Laura Boomer, who is acknowledged in Greg's book for feeding him 'interesting solar links' . Laura must be authentic as she's been a practitioner for about thirty years, and at one point during her illustrious career was even the resident astrologer at the BBC.

'Astrology is a great but rarely used tool. To understand the planets is to know one's heavenly vibration. There are other ways to understand oneself in relation to the cosmos, of course: yoga, meditation, years of therapy, even the act of creation itself,' she says.

I don't usually plug friends so blatantly (!), but anyone who is interested in having their chart done (for the rest of their lives if they want) can e-mail her at planetmotion@yahoo.com Everyone who has been to her says she is always right.

AWOL Tuner

2009-11-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

It's not every day that one's friendly piano tuner has to take leave of absence in order to go on a world tour with Status Quo. But, that's what Paul Hirsh did when he was asked to stand in for one of the band (Andrew Bown) for a two year stint.

Paul, who is a talented all round musician: hypnotic keyboardist, guitarist, vocalist, bassist, composer, arranger and musical director was a founder member of the scintillating pop rock band Voyager. I suspect the reason why he gave me my (first) Christmas present: a Voyager album titled Eyecontact was an act of compensation for having to neglect my piano due to touring session work with acts like not only Status Quo, but also Chris Rea etc.

Incidentally, I don't play the piano but hang on to it for my Californian based brother-in-law Austin de Lone (a keyboard player) to pound on when he visits London.

Dominic Lutyens Goes Stylish

2009-11-12T13:54:00.000-08:00

Although Thames & Hudson published the meticulously researched 70s Style and Design book, its co-authors: journalist Dominic Lutyens (his next book out is on the textile designer Celia Birtwell for Quadrille Publishing) and Kirsty Hislop threw an over-subscribed book launch for their new book with Fran Findlater at Portsea Place, her private Georgian house in London.

Incidentally, it used to belong to the late Kardo Sessoeffs who 'dedicated their lives to collecting and researching works of art.' Unfortunately for all the valuable works of art, there were so many guests pressed up against the paintings on the wall, that the Sessoeffs must be turning in their cultured graves.

The stylish coffee table book is stuffed with 70s 'movers and shakers' (including Peter Golding, Yves Saint Laurent, Vivienne Westwood, Zandra Rhodes, Bill Gibb, Halston and Fiorucci etc.) most of whom were at the crammed-packed launch. At one point, I was sandwiched between 70s luminaries Peter Golding and Lynne Franks in the middle of the stairs and none of us could move.

Mods Nostalgia

2009-11-08T04:56:00.000-08:00

Sartorial historians and anyone who is ancient enough to have remembered Mods first hand, should drool over this Original Mods event held at the Horse & Groom, 26 Curtain Road, London, EC2 on Thursday November 12th, 8.30pm, entrance is free.

Whenever the word 'mods' is mentioned, the movie Quadrophenia immediately springs to mind, but mods weren't just a bunch of parka wearing scooter drivers who enjoyed seaside gladiator battles with rockers.

'The mods of public infamy came later, and were more associated with ska, soul, parkas, scooters and scrapping in Brighton,' says a spokesman for DJHistory, the event's organisers. 'The original Mods were the original working class rebels, post-war Britain's first dandies. The mods (derived from 'modernists') had their roots in the 1950s and arguably, grew out of the coffee bar beatnik scene driven by a significant Jewish cadre. We have organised a stellar cast of dandies to help us sift through the crap to get to the truth and hopefully get a few tips on how many buttons our suit should possess on the way.'

The prolific writer Paul Gorman, author of The Look will be the host on the panel. Also on the panel (in no particular oder) will be: the natty dresser Jeff Dexter, who was a pioneer South London Mod, and was banned from the Lyceum for doing the Twist before becoming London's celebrity DJ at Tiles, UFO, Middle Earth and Implosion. Lloyd Johnson, who is an aficionado about street fashion, (I was hooked on his Johnson shops in Kensington Market and Kings Road), and Mickey Modern, who reputed to be the first mod in south London and is 'still more stylish than the rest of Southwark put together.'

After the discussion, there will be questions from the audience and lastly, 'vigorous dancing' to 60's sounds.

Artist Channelled by Late Sixteenth Century Playwright

2009-10-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

David Graves, who has been David Hockney's assistant for decades now writes extraordinary period plays in verse in his spare time.

In the late Seventies, Graves gave me a couple of his iconoclastic sculptures, one of which looks like a peculiar TV ariel. That one was on top of my TV for over thirty years until it fell onto the carpet last week. Its marble base broke in two, but luckily David Graves came to the rescue and superglued the base together for me today, and now it's as good as new.

David also printed out a couple of his plays for me, one of which is inspired by Giambattista della Porta, the most prominent playwright of the late 16th century Italy. It's currently out being read, but I'm so jealous he doesn't suffer from writer's block. David, who is fairly new to creative writing said he doesn't know where his plays come from but the verses are spilling out of his brain. He feels compelled to write. I wouldn't be surprised if he is being channelled by Giambattista della Porta himself!

Day of the Dead meets Mencap

2009-10-27T03:52:00.000-07:00

I schlepped along to the "Mencap Dia de los Muertos" preview at the Proud Gallery in order to support Joanna Jacobs, who's got a Mixed media 'artwork' in the show. Joanna, daughter of the veteran disk jockey David Jacobs, and the ex of ('Ain't Misbehavin') Clarke Peters used to be a fashion model for Models One (The agency's founder, Jose Fonseca has got taste) before turning to Art and creating her 'eco-funky' recycled bottle cap earrings (for sale at the Proud Gallery at only £20 a pair!).

Other artists displaying their wares included Gillian Ayres, James Aldridge, Craigie Aitchison, Hilary Simon and the ubiquitous Tracey Emin. I wondered why none of the art, inspired by the Mexican festival Day of the Dead didn't display red stickers until I discovered that all the stuff will be auctioned at Bonhhams, Knightsbridge on 11 November in aid of Mencap.

So, who was at this glittering exhibition besides Joanna's actor son Jo and a sea of her old boyfriends and admirers? The artist and photographer Mark le Bon, Gavin Millar, Jenny Dearden, Jeff Dexter and singer/songwriter Andy Allen were amongst the rabble admiring the art. Andy, who is the son of Elkan Allen, creator of 'Ready Steady Go' replaced the Sex Pistols' Syd Vicious on bass when he popped his clogs. He was with his pretty daughter Dixie, who's doing English Lit for 'A' levels, but moonlights as a performer for her dad's Hankdogs acoustic band. Andy stuck a skull sticker on me which was a guest pass for his Easycome Acoustic Club in South London. It was worth dragging myself out for that then!

Gentlemen's Clothing Store Makes Bespoke Coats For Dames

2009-10-23T05:52:00.000-07:00

Girls! Offer to escort your sugar daddies when they go shopping at New and Lingwood, the 'world-renowned' menswear company. They make the school outfits for Eton's pupils, so that's why their international clientele includes Old Etonians besides royalty, Hollywood movie stars and the British aristocracy.

Not many people know that although New & Lingwood is a predominately mens' store (who makes bespoke clothes as well as ready-made shirts, zany hosier and shoes), they also have a sideline making bespoke coats for women. Justin Sumrie, the Director of N & L , (and also my cousin) says that when their regular men customers are being measured for bespoke clothes, the store also offers to make their women companions bespoke coats while they are waiting. Beats just being offered a cup of coffee.

This was all news to me until Justin offered to give me an early Christmas present: a couple of elegant coats when I dropped in to see him at the store's Jermyn Street branch today. He gave me a replica of a bespoke soft tweed coat made for the Queen of Belgium (one of N & L's clients) and also a black doeskin coat. As starting prices range from £595-£1,000 upwards, I was thrilled, especially as I now don't have to persuaded a man at gun point to take me along to New and Lingwood while he gets measured up for a bespoke wardrobe.

Riff Raff

2009-10-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

Film director David Blyth has just returned from the Hamilton Underground Film Festival (in New Zealand) where he attended a packed-out screening of his last film Transfigured Nights.

David met Richard O'Brien's alter ego, Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Show on Hamilton's main drag - Victoria Street. The last time I saw Richard was when he was incognito, dressed as a woman at a party. He was so convincing, I didn't recognise him. He was so immersed in his female character that I suspect he believed he was the real thing. I never realised he was a method actor! (Incidentally, David was interviewed recently on - click on - Extensive Podcast on his BlythCult Twitter page).

Beauty and the Beast

2009-10-12T23:33:00.000-07:00

Robert Plant, the singer of the late and lamented Led Zeppelin was one of the surprise guests at the recent Richard de Lone Special Housing Benefit concert at San Francisco's Great American Musical Hall. Austin de Lone's singer/musician daughter Caroline (my niece) was also one of the guest performers at the concert (she sang one of her own songs). And here she is backstage with Robert Plant (click on the photo for close-up). I'm glad he recognises talent when he sees it.

A Space For Photo Exhibitions

2009-10-11T04:05:00.000-07:00

If a photographer is unable to land a show at the prestigious Hamiltons Gallery, all is not lost. There other venues for photographers to exhibit their wares. Peter Herbert, who will have an exhibition called "Skylines" at the Conference Centre, St Pancras Hospital from November 19, has chosen a gallery called Flaxton Ptooch in 'up and coming' Kentish Town Road to showcase his new stuff, a salon large enough for a rock band to play in. Just as well, as Peter's pop singer daughter Kiria was strutting her stuff at the packed out opening in her black and white costume, which matched the photos' frames. Peter, I want a set tea at the Wallace Collection in exchange for the blatant plug!

Celia Birtwell At Boots

2009-10-01T14:53:00.000-07:00

I popped into Boots today (the branch opposite Debenhams in Oxford Street), and witnessed one of their in-store's promotions. The versatile designer Cellia Birtwell, flanked by her daughter-in-law Bella Clark (who runs Celia's fabrics shop in Westbourne Park Road) was raised on a podium on the ground floor presiding over her new collection of gorgeous knickknacks.

I know now where to get all my Christmas shopping from, as Boots is doing a Special Offer (3 for the price of 2) until December 25th. Loads of enthusiastic punters were in a frenzy, including David Hockney who was buying up Celia's pink patterned Sewing Organisers before he returned to Bridlington. As I can't even thread a needle, I settled for Celia's piece de resistance: her black patent Vanity Case with her trademark bouquet design, a couple of matching pairs of her pretty bouquet patternd socks and a Gadget Case. And as it looked like it might rain, I also grabbed one of her umbrellas. All the stuff is very well-made and is selling at bargain Boots prices.

UCL Older Mothers Conference Generates Global Publicity

2009-09-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

The most positive outcome about Dr Sammy Lee's recent well-attended Motherhood In The 21st Century all-day conference at the UCL, is that it has put the controversial subject of Older Mothers on the map in a rational and good way. For when the subject of 'IVF pregnant mums way past their menopause' hits the news, the articles are usually accompanied by bloodcurdling, tabloid styled screaming headlines.

At the prestigious conference, I spoke to many of the people present who unanimously agreed the conference was a big success. All the eminent scientists and infertility gynaecologists agreed that the reason why the Conference was so successful, was because it explained all about the real issues concerning Older Motherhood which needed to be aired, but are never written about in the glut of sensationalist articles about older mothers. Other attendees I spoke to agreed with this sentiment. They included barristers, psychotherapists, clinical embryologists, ethics students, research fellows, nutritional therapists, chemists, PhD students, fertility nurses, journalists and editors, midwives, acupuncturists, GPs, infertility counsellors, public relations consultants, ethics students, clinical psychologists, medical historians, sociologists and science writers.

The general consensus of the conference was that the subject of Older Mothers has been orbited into the public domain. All will be explained in detail in the published book (due out around December 2009) about the "Motherhood in the 21st Century's" stimulating conference and extensive debate. It will contain the verbatim proceedings of the all-day conference, so most likely this ground breaking event will have a place in scientific literature for the layperson, the student and the expert/clinician alike.

On a personal note, I am eager to read the book (in due course, details can eventually be viewed on the UCL Older Mothers link), because I was unable to hear all of what the softly spoken Shere Hite said; who apparently spoke about orgasms in her speech.

However, I was pleased to see that the UCL posted my blog entry about the Older Mothers Conference on their website, and that the Conference as a whole generated a lot of publicity including lengthy articles about the day from international journalists and on the UK domestic front, from the Times’ Vivienne Parry which attracted a very large number of Comments, proving that people in general want to know the real issues about Older Motherhood.

The Older Mothers Conference

2009-09-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

If a bomb had dropped on the UCL yesterday, a big chunk of the international world of IVF would have been wiped out. The charismatic Dr Sammy Lee, the renowned clinical embryologist, who was an early pioneer of IVF (and is now interested in stem cell therapy and human cloning) organised a glamorous one-day conference and debate on "Motherhood in the 21st century" inside the guarded university's Anatomy Department.

I arrived at the university's JZ Young Lecture Theatre the same time as Lord Professor Robert Winston (Professor of Science and Society and Emeritus Professor of Fertility Studies at Imperial College) who was giving the conference's opening address and the cultural historian, Shere Hite, one of the conference's diverse speakers. Although she is a revolutionary feminist, she looks and acts like Marilyn Monroe and immediately had all the men eating out of her hand. It's incredible to think her first book, the infamous, "The Hite Report" sold 48 million copies worldwide. No wonder she looks like a million dollars. (I asked her if she would ever consider having herself cloned, but she said she would have to know more about it).

The actual conference explored the reasons why some women choose to become mothers late in life. The speakers focused on some of the ethical issues: i.e. 'is it good for the parents? Is it good for the child? Is there a different standard applied to elderly mothers as opposed to elderly fathers?' Health and safety issues were also addressed, including the health risks associated with older women getting pregnant, increased risks of high blood pressure, diabetes, developmental problems with the placenta and need for Caesarean section, etc.

The entertaining Dr Ray Nobel (the Senior Lecturer/Graduate Tutor Obstetrics and Gynaecology, UCL; Medical ethicist) conducted the debate in the afternoon).

'What a panel!' he exclaimed.

I had to agree with him, as the conference speakers included some of the globe's famous scientists and infertility gynecologists including - here comes the name checks: Dr Gulam Bahadur, (Head of Fertility & reproductive Medicine Laboratories, UCL), the charming Peter Brinsden (Medical Director, Bourn Hall Clinic), Professor John Carroll, the Associate Dean, Division of Bioscienes, UCL, Professor Gedis Grudzinskas (Formerly Chair of Obsteric & Gynaecology at St Bart's and the Royal London Hospitals, as well as of The Bridge Centre. Now in private practice in Harley Street, and current editor of RBM Online), Dr Joyce Harper (formerly of the London Fertility centre), Professor Dr Shere Hite, Professor Sammy Lee, Dr Menabawey, who confided he owes his entire career to Sammy Lee, Professor N Pandiyan (Chief Consultant, reproductive Medicine, Chettinad Hospital & Research Institute) who had flown over from India just for the conference, 'the Big Cheese' Professor Claudio Stern (Head of Research Dept., Cell & Development Biology, UCL), Dr John Swann (Senior embryologist, Royal Free Hospital) and the dishy Dr Paul Serhal (Medical Director, UCL Fertility Unit).

If a woman was desperate to go through the expensive rigmaroles of an IVF baby, this conference was the place to be. Although one doc stood up during the debate and raised a few laughs by saying:

'A thirty-nine year old woman friend told me she wanted to get her eggs frozen, so I advised her to meet the right partner as soon as possible and have a baby the natural way.'

The London's Global University laid on a delicious lunch and dinner , and I never knew that the world of IVF and academia could be so entertaining. Thanks Sammy for an uplifting day and I know who to come to if I want twins at the age of seventy!

On The Guest List

2009-09-16T01:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't been to Dingwalls, the live music club in Camden Town for centuries. I think one of the last times I was on the guest list there, was when I listened to Debbie Harry's gig in the ladies' lavatory which used do have the best acoustics in town!

Last night, I was booked in to see Martin Belmont perform at the club, playing his new CD The Guest List featuring fabulous musicians like Paul Carrack, the 'rock 'n' roll doctor' Hank Wangford (who gave a sophisticated performance), Nick Lowe, and Graham Parker etc. The legendary Dave Robinson, who created Stiff Records was holding court, surrounded by blokish pub rockers (such as the surviving Ducks de Luxe) most of whose careers he has spawned.

So, how did I get to hear about this illustrious gig? From Austin de Lone (my illustrious brother-in-law), who started the pub rock movement in the United Kingdom with his old band, Eggs Over Easy. He has inspired and played with them all!

A Double Whammy Sightseeing Expedition

2009-09-01T03:31:00.000-07:00

Peter Herbert curated the recent Freedom Of Art exhibition at The Conference Centre at St Pancras Hospital where incarcerated prisoners' powerful Art sold for well below Sotheby's auction prices.

Now, Peter has curated a new Portraiture exhibition titled Taken From Life, which opens on Wednesday September 9th at the same Conference Centre. Art on Show includes (here comes the press release) 'sixteen paintings from the oil painting collection of Keith Marshall, new work by photo realist gymnast artist Adam Walker-Smith, the outsider artist Phil Wildman, who presents a collection of raw mixed media self portraits and from the photographer/writer Joanne O'Brien: painted portraits of theatrical folk including Harold Pinter, Mike Leigh and the actress Siobhan Mckenna.'

On an historic note, One advantage about visiting the Concerence Centre is the fascinating graveyard attached to the nearby St Pancras Old Church which Charles mentions in the "Tales of Two Cities". It's worth a visit just for the Thomas Hardy Tree which is a national treasure. (The Hardy tree, growing between gravestones moved while Thomas Hardy, then a trainee architect, was involved in the clearance of part of the churchyard to make way for the railway).

Millennium Knocks me Out

2009-08-31T06:43:00.000-07:00

Alan Jones, one of the founders and organisers of the annual FrightFest film festival (now held at the Empire cinema in Leicester Square) gave me an early Christmas present: a ticket for "Millennium", the film adaptation of Stieg Larsson's bestseller, "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo".

This thrilling Swedish movie with sub-titles zipped by even though its running time was 150 minutes. I can safely state it was one of the best films I've seen in as long as I can remember, and now can't wait for the other two parts of the "Millennium" movie trilogy, based on Larsson's other books: "The Girl Who Played With Fire", and "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest".

"Millenium" was such a powerful film, that after I emerged from the screening, I didn't know where the hell I was. When I finally realised I wasn't in Sweden but was holed up in the densely populated Leicester Square on a Saturday night, I cut through the Soho streets, still totally immersed in the movie.

I skidded and fell over in an alley packed out with drunken revellers, and was immediately helped to my feet by a gang of concerned bystanders, who informed me I had bashed my head on the pavement. Paranoid, I had done a 'Natasha Richardson,' I assured them I was all right and groggily made my way home.

I am still compos mentis, but still can't stop thinking about the movie, which goes on general release in the UK in April.

Black on Black Food

2009-08-17T16:21:00.000-07:00

Gregory Sams'
new book Sun of gOd (his previous book is the iconoclastic Uncommon Sense) looks like it's becoming a best seller. It's selling like crazy, especially since Jonathan Cainer wrote about him and his book in his Daily Mail astrology column every day last week.

To celebrate, Greg kindly gave me a one to one macrobiotic cookery lesson at his house. First, he (patiently) taught me how to concoct perfectly cooked rice (to think I've been making it wrong all these years!) with garlic and onion, plus black turtle beans, and the pièce de résistance: black fungus (available from Chinatown supermarkets). Also on the menu were steamed vegetables, plus Magimixed swede with butter, a sprinkling of cheese and yoghurt. Yummmmm! I never realised how tasty macrobiotic fodder could be.

To think, when I attempted to become less yang after chewing macrobiotic food for the first time at the Sams brothers' (Greg and Craig) famous Seed restaurant all those decades ago, I chose to exist on a regime of brown rice (plus cigarettes). I was forced to stop when I was unable to walk up the road anymore! But thanks to Greg, I'm now a black bean convert, especially as the meal we cooked tonight would have cost in the region of £2.50 per head, ideal in these 'credit crunch' times.

A Missing Treasure Is Discovered

2009-08-16T03:52:00.000-07:00

David Hockney did the cover for Alfalpha's first critically acclaimed album. "Middle Class", the band's second album, also on the EMI label was axed.

Unfortunately, when this harmonic country style rock album (recorded at the Workhouse studio alongside The Blockheads' "Do It Yourself" offering, engineered by the 'fabulous' Laurie Latham) was finished, it coincided with the onslaught of punk music.

According to the major record labels, the 'revolutionary' emergence of punk made talented authentic rock bands an obsolete dinasaur. As far as they were concerned, they were completely redundant. The Music Biz welcomed the fact that punk was made up of predominately working class musicians (a couple of exceptions that instantly spring to mind are The Pogues public school educated Shane MacGowan, and The Clash's Joe Strummer, who was famously a diplomat's son).

In the Mid '70's, Alfalpha was regarded as 'polite' rock, which explains why their second album was christened "Middle Class". And although this talented band who played country cross music with an edge; and provided the backing vocals on Marc Bolan's last album, they decided to disband after making their doomed second offering. Even though the band had a successful regular Thursday night slot at the Speakeasy Club, where the punters went wild on hearing the band's second album, the band still decided to break up.

When Jeff Dexter, the band's producer/manager informed me David Gilmour's studio manager had found the tapes, and he now had them, would I be interested in going to his house and listening to the aborted album? 'Is the Pope Catholic?' Of course I would.

Alfalpha's talented musicians on the first and second album comprised of 'boy genius' songwriter and musician Nick Laird-Clowes (six string accoustic guitar), Sam Harley (bass and accoustic guitar), his brother Andy Harley (accoustic guitar/lead vocals). They also discovered the writing skills of the then unknown Chris Rea (just down from Middlesborough ), who wrote the album's beautiful "Because of You" track.

At Jeff's house, I sat down and listened to "Middle Class" all the way through, and lurved this exquisitely produced happy album (stuffed with stirring harmonies), which although made in the mid Seventies has travelled and is totally relevant today. I hope Alfalpha's magnificent second album gets re-issued. It deserves to!

An Australian Grammatical Mishtake!

2009-08-04T02:14:00.000-07:00

I created this blog in order to blatantly promote friends and family. So I can't resist plugging my old society photographer pal Robert Rosen, who during the early Eighties used to be a permanent fixture at London parties before triumphantly returning to his native Sydney.

At a recent 'glittering' shindig to celebrate '50 Years of Australian Vogue', a huge wall in the 'lounge area' was devoted entirely to Robert's photographs. But, don't Australians have any sense of grammar? Surely, it should be "Mr Robert's lounge" - not "Mr Roberts lounge?!"

A Body Conditioning Reunion

2009-07-29T04:12:00.000-07:00

I used to religiously go twice a week to Andreas Reyneke's Body Conditioning Studio in Notting Hill Gate in the Seventies. Dreas is the body conditioning teacher to the stars, and Bianca Jagger, who wore plastic thigh warmers, Rupert Everett, Rod and Alana Stewart were in my regular slot. My body had never looked so good, and no wonder as Dreas, an ex-Ballet Rambert dancer has taught Pilates for over three decades and is reputed to be one of the best in the world.

The last time I saw Dreas was over twenty years ago, when I told him I was leaving him for golf (I sobbed with emotion while doing an arabesque on one of his machines). So I was intrigued when Celia Birtwell, also an ex-pupil and incidentally the best textile designer on the globe ordered me to meet up in her shop, as she was treating Dreas and myself to a big reunion lunch.

I was relieved to see Dreas looked exactly the same and was also relieved when he said I hadn't changed a bit either. I gave him the third degree, interrogating him on what form of exercise I should do now, as I'm bored stiff with doing the gym. Dreas suggested I get his book Ultimate Pilates, and also his DVDs - available from the Dance Books site.

He recommended I should first look at the Dynamic 5th: Pilates + Preparation for Ballet Students with Dreas Reyneke and students from the Royal Ballet School DVD, which gives the dancer co-ordination, core control and stability from the feet in application and action; and demonstrated by dancers from the Royal Ballet School. As this DVD contains a 'wonderful' series of arm exercises that work the upper back and posture, and also the back of the arms, it is suitable for everyone.

The Advanced Pilates DVD features three dancers from the Royal Ballet: Tamara Rojo, Johannes Stepanek, and Edward Watson (who is the Royal Ballet's most pliable principle dancer), plus the English National Ballet's Désirée Ballantyne. It would be worth getting the DVD for them alone.

I shall give it all a a whirl. Mind you, once Dreas sent me to a beginner's ballet class which was so rigorous, it left me unable to move for a week afterwards!

For All You Crippled Writers Out There

2009-07-28T02:47:00.000-07:00

I've been doing so much extra key-tapping since joining Facebook, I started to get excruciating pains in my thumbs as soon as I glued myself to my computer. Luckily, a truly fantastic healer called Sat Raimondo (his contact details are on his site) came to the rescue. I tubed it to his flat in Clerkenwell where he gave me an invigorating Indian Head massage, concentrating on my hands and arms, giving me a dollop of spiritual healing for good measure. I came out floating and have been able to write ever since without stopping for breaks. It's comforting to know Raimondo is on permanent standby if/when I get into trouble again.

My New Writers' Group

2009-07-26T03:52:00.000-07:00

Since I joined Facebook (three lost days ago), I confess I haven't written one word of my new novel but to compensate, I have made my first cyberspace Friend on the lethally addictive site (it's incredible to see how many friends and acquaintances in my ancient address books are still alive).

My new pal is a talented New York based Videographer called Joly MacFie (his work can be viewed on Punkcast), who makes visually unique videos of all the bands as a 'hobby', and then sells them his edited and captioned tapes, all of which look like mini-movies.

In the 'Old Days', Joly was the roadie for the defunct Pink Fairies band, graduating to becoming the creator of Better Badges before emigrating to New York and making a name for himself with his ingeniously directed video work.

At one point, while I was chatting to Joly on Facebook - he was telling me what he thought of my first novel Frantic - I was simultaneously involved in a literary conversation with the 'legendary' Sam Cutler (infamous for hiring the Hells Angels to guard the stage at the Rolling Stones' Altamont concert), discussing his book, You Can't Always Get What You Want: My Life with the Rolling Stones, the Grateful Dead and Other Wonderful Reprobates", and ex-"Deviant" , the prolific science fiction writer Mick Farren. Mick recommended I get his book, Jim Morrison's Adventures In The After Life after I asked him which book of his I should read first.

The outcome of our conflab is we are all going to send each other our respective books. Never in my wildest dreams, did I imagine I would join an On Line literary club with a gang of old reprobrates!

Cyberspace Addiction

2009-07-23T01:05:00.001-07:00

Oh dear! What have I done?! It was the illustrious Jeff Dexter, who led me into temptation. I've finally succumbed and have just joined the dreaded Facebook site, which I've been resisting for 'years'. I suspect it's not a good idea, as I'm already finding it toooo addictive. Not exactly conducive to writing! It's bad enough I'm hooked on Madame Arati's hypnotic site, but at least I'm not bonkers enough to join Twitter!

New Zealand Goes To Brazil

2009-07-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

David Blyth, the New Zealand based international film director has been invited to this year's Fantaspoa film festival in Brazil (held in the most southern and European city Porto Alegre on the Atlantic coast), as not one but FOUR of his movies ('Angel Mine', 'Death Warmed Up', 'Bound For Pleasure' and 'Transfigured Nights' ) will be screened there. .

He has also been asked to conduct workshops at the festival with the Argentinean director Fernando Mantelli. But, David won't just be presiding over his past films at the festival, as he will also be talking about his new script outline called Wound, an original supernatural horror film. 'A supernatural daughter returns to haunt her birth mother exposing the monstrous family secrets,' is how David describes his new project (its shoot date will tentatively be early December depending on financing).

So, I was thrilled when I received a couple of freebie DVDs from him sent by FedEx, especially as they were two of his earlier films, namely: Death Warmed Up, and Angel Mine - the latter was so controversial upon its release, that Questions were asked about it in Parliament. (Read all about it on the The Listener article).

Death Warmed Up is notorious for being New Zealand's first horror film which was made before Peter Jackson's splatter comedy horror flicks. In fact, I met David a few years prior to Death Warmed Up's screening at the London Film Festival in 1984, during which members of the audience were vomiting in the aisles because back then, this unique comedy horror film was seen as visually shocking.

Both DVDs are available from David's site (click on David Blyth), as well as the rest of his movies, including Bound For Pleasure, and his latest release - Transfigured Nights, (which will also be screened during the eleven week "Sunday Night Out" festival on Triangle and Stratos Television in New Zealand from 26th July through to 4th October ).

But first, when David returns from Brazil, he will be editing his "French Connection" documentary (funded by the French NZ Friendship Fund) which concerns the 90th anniversary of the Liberation of Le Quesnoy in Northern France, in which his Grandfather played an important role. This illustrates that David is not a one movie genre director. So, it's all GO for David, but why does everything seem to always happen at once?

There's Nothing Wrong With Nepotism

2009-07-05T13:27:00.000-07:00

I started this blog in order to blatantly plug members of my family, so here goes: I'm heartbroken I shan't be able to make my illustrious brother-in-law - Austin de Lone's gigs in Italy this month. (Austin recently sat in and played accordion with Elvis Costello and an abbreviated version of his Sugarcanes at his in-store appearance at Amoeba Records in San Francisco. The Sugarcanes are a batch of Nashville A-list musicians that recorded Elvis's new album and are currently touring with him, which proves that Elvis always makes sure he surrounds himself with the best musicians).

Austin's exciting eleven piece band, Austin de Lone's Soul Blues Review (Eric McCann - bass and vocals, Ernest "Boom" Carter - drums and vocals, Danny Caron - guitar, Charles McNeal - tenor saxophone, Alex Budman - alto and baritone saxophone, Joel Behrman - trumpet, Mike Rinta - trombone and arranger, Austin de Lone - piano, Hammond B-3, Wurlitzer electric piano and bandleader), with special guests Sweet Nectar (Sue McCracklin - daughter of Jimmy McCracklin, living legend of the blues, Maureen Smith, Marcia Gamble) will be appearing with Bobby Johnson at the Umbria Jazz Festival (July 10-19.)

Also, Austin de Lone's Soul Blues Review will be the house band at the Poretta Soul Festival, at Rufus Thomas Park in Porretta Termé July (24, 25 & 26). They will be backing up Spencer Wiggins, Percy Wiggins, Oscar Toney Jr, Toni Green,, J. Blackfoot, Jesse Dee, and Bobby Johnson, as well as performing on their own and giving music seminars during the week they are in Porretta

Unfortunately for Italy, Austin's favourite singer/my niece Caroline de Lone will not be appearing with the band this summer, as she is at home in Mill Valley busy writing new songs for her first album which her dad is producing.

Flat Batteries At the Avenue Q Pool Party

2009-07-01T01:31:00.000-07:00

Alan Jones, Julian Clary's rollerblade consultant, and co-organiser of Fright Fest's international horror festival (at the Empire from August 27-August 31. Horror film fanatics can buy tickets on line from FrightFest's website) escorted me to Avenue Q, which has just transferred from the Noël Coward Theatre to the
Gielgud after a run of four years.

The musical, produced by Cameron Mackintosh might have won a Tony Award, but why don't West End theatres have air conditioning? It was the hottest evening of the year, and the Gielgud's auditorium was a furnace: it was a preview of hell.

After the show which involved puppets (!), the publicist Greg Day saw Alan and I were melting and invited us to a 'Pool Party' in the Haymarket Hotel's basement which has an enormous swimming pool. I knew I should have worn my swimming costume.

At the bar, I bumped into Michael Birt, the celebrity photographer who reminded me we worked together in the past (he once photographed Fran Lebowitz at Brown's hotel when I interviewed her for Ritz).

I wept on his shoulder, not when I spotted a member of Girls Aloud at the party, but when I realised the batteries in my (Canon PowerShot A550 camera) had gone flat. Michael advised me to ask the hotel's concierge for new batteries, but unfortunately, he didn't have any.

What was more unfortunate, Michael was off duty for the evening, so he didn't have a camera on him, only his iPhone. I asked him to take a (paparrazi) shot of Eddie Izzard and he dutifully obliged.

Four stiff Cranberry juices later, I left the party.

An Exclusive Jewellery Sale

2009-06-26T07:30:00.000-07:00

Andrew Logan held an exclusive jewellery sale for a sole customer at his London studio today. Ann Sharkey, who in her heyday was the best dancer on the London stage missed Andrew Logan's jewellery sales in the evenings held at his studio this week.

Ann was unable to buy Andrew's jewels from his on line shop, as she hasn't got a computer yet (shopaholics desperate to buy Andrew's baubles, click on Andrew Logan's shop to buy buy buy!), so Andrew kindly invited her round to his place to buy something in person this morning.

After Ann had a good look round viewing Andrew's diverse collection of his jewellery displayed on all the walls, she was torn between buying a bracelet, a broach or a necklace, but finally settled for a GIGANGTIC blue ring, which any Pope would be proud to wear on his pinky finger. (Ann even tried on the crown which has been historically plonked on the head of every winner of Andrew's Alternative Miss World contests over the years, but Andrew had to tell her it wasn't for sale).

A Stand to Attention Jazz Concert On The South Bank

2009-06-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

When I went to see the talented Stefani Crone dance in the Clore Ballroom at the Royal Festival Hall alongside the interesting School of Harmolodics, I hadn't realised that the last ten days had been devoted to Ornette Coleman's Meltdown; produced by the charismatic Glenn Max, the Curator of Popular Music at the Royal Festival Hall. If I'd realised, I would have booked myself in for Moby, and the 'bohemian' likes of Patti Smith (I wonder what her golf handicap is now?), and the Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band etc.

After I marvelled at the School of Harmolodics' avant-garde performance (wow! What a shindig!), I bumped into the ubiquitous Jeff Dexter, who promptly invited me to a show at the Royal Festival Hall later that evening.

The Charlie Haden's Liberation Music Orchestra was performing with guest appearances from the legendary Ornette Coleman and Jeff's old mate, Robert Wyatt. Did I want to go, he asked? (Is the pope Catholic?!).

I dived at the chance and was duly in seventh heaven, seated in the best seats in the house (we were almost on the stage) nodding my head to the free jazz (It was a shame I hadn't donned my matelot striped sweater and beret for the event). Amazingly, five of the sublime musicians had never played with each other before: the composer/musician Carla Bley, who was the MD of the evening was partially responsible for their miraculous gelling. Unfortunately, Ornette Coleman arrived on stage too late to actually perform, but when he did show, the entire audience respectfully stood up as if in church.

After the fantastic show, I followed Jeff to the backstage party, which was bulging with jazz musicians. It was like a zoo! Brilliant stuff.

Sun of gOd

2009-06-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

Gregory Sams, the 'social thinking' author of Uncommon Sense is hosting his second UK launch tonight of his new book, Sun of gOd (Paul McCartney sings 'Sun is Shining' from his 'Fireman' album) on the nifty promotional video) at the inSpiral Lounge. (His first London launch was recently held at the October Gallery, and I've already got my signed copy of the book which is fascinating and thought provoking stuff! I gave him my novel, Frantic in return!).

Hoppy, who will be in attendance is having his own photographic exhibition (starting June 19) at the Idea Generation Gallery. Also, a poet called Becs will be delivering her commissioned 'Ode to the Sun' poem which is devoted to the Sun and inspired by Sun of gOd from which the content is drawn. And for all you poem lovers out there, this is an extract from Becs' opus ( who knows? She might be the the future Poet Laureate!):

"I'm the biggest bling
On your galactic ring,
The jewel in the cosmic crown
Of the Universal Palace.
I exist without; ego, love or malice.”
……………………………..

Sliding towards worship, away from illumination,
You – I?
I – it – creating separation?!
But you can do it all!
“Please ripen these grapes for me. All the way round if you please…”

Interstellar Rockefeller shamanic priests were – a coursing conduit from planet to star,
Surely the purest connection by far?!
Bacteria is perceived as miniscule billions, disconnected, single and free,
Rather than one intelligent entity!
And when it comes to procreation
Bacteria don’t need no sex, it’s an easy mission
It’s all done with binary fission!
……………………………….

"Oh Mr Sun, Sun Mr Golden Sun
Shine your light on me.”

Come on over!
We’re having a blast at the furnace of fire!!

“Liar, Liar pants on fire!”
Fanning the flitting photons of light
Crystalline thermals of imperceptible flight.'

The food tonight ought to be good, as Greg invented the 'VegeBurger,' and with his older brother Craig (of 'Green & Black' organic chocs) introduced macrobiotic food to this country. First, they opened Seed, a magical macrobiotic restaurant in Paddington, which was patronised by the 'psychedelic scene' including rock musicians like John Lennon and Jimi Hendirx plus Jeff Dexter, the popular Sixties D.J. before they started Harmony Foods, which evolved into Whole Earth Foods. I used to be hooked on their peanut butter, but confess I abandoned the ying and yang 'mathematics' of macrobiotics after fasting on brown rice for days before succumbing to an overdose of Mars Bars!

Gregory is devoting his time to writing now, and judging by his latest book, Sun of gOd, he's definitely in the right orbit.

I've got a fan!

2009-06-06T12:53:00.000-07:00

I've just had the most thrilling afternoon giving a reading of my novel Frantic to an audience of ........... one! I went round to the legendary Jeff Dexter's house and read my book out aloud to him. Thankfully, he laughed all the way through, especially when it came to the passages 'inspired' by him: in the book, there is a 'faction' disc jockey character at the Middle Earth club in Covent Garden during the late Sixties. In real life, Jeff used to be - boom di boom - the underground club's resident D.J. and master of ceremonies before moving to the Roundhouse where he hosted his spectacular 'Implosion' events. Jeff, who had already read the book in the lavatory, gave me the biggest compliment of my life by saying he would read it again! I've got a fan!

The Summer Exhibition Is Better Hung Than Usual

2009-06-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

You're not permitted to take photographs inside the Royal Academy, but the gallery watchdogs made an exception in my case when I went round the Summer exhibition this evening. As everyone I bumped into seemed to have a painting stuck up on the walls, the guards didn't strongly object when I snapped them plonked in front of their work.

Two artists who had red stickers daubing their paintings were Peter Clossick and C. Morey de Morand, who had two big paintings in the show. One of them ('Inside Outside') had the good fortune to be hung above a 'crap' Tracey Emin pic. People would look at it, raise their eyes heavenwards in disbelief (the £90,000 painting had been sold), then with relief, feast their eyes on Morand's colourful canvass.

Peter Clossick's painting was titled 'Santon II" and when I gushed how much I liked it, proceeded to give me a crash course in history of art, by telling me he collects Santons which were produced during the French Revolution when churches were forced to close and their grandiose nativity scenes forbidden.

Morand's pics attracted her colourful admirers: Michael Davis, photographer Lorenzo Poccianti (who took the snap of Morand in front of her 'Invisible Lives' pic), (Lady) Henrietta Rous, (author of the 'Ossie Clark Diaries'), and a visual work of art, who went by the name of Pinktessa, an ex-Blitz kid 'multi-medium' artist who looked like she had stepped out of the the late French eighteenth century herself, due to her elaborate white hair which resembled a wig from that period.

Art Payola

2009-06-05T03:36:00.000-07:00

It's definitely worth blogging about my fave raves on this blog, as I have just been given a fantastic gift for writing about a friend on this blog. Helen Ralli, who designed the cover for Crushed, my YA novel, and is one of the geniuses on her current BA Graphic Design course at Camberwell has just posted me a beeeeautiful etching titled 'Our Lady Sally'. Thanks Helen, I shall treasure it always!

When I dutifully asked Helen the history behind her etching, she said:

'The character is based on a friend of mine called Samuel Parker, a first year drawing student at Camberwel, who has recently created a female alter-ego for himself called Sally Donovan. We are currently collaborating on a project together that explores the role and relevance of gender in modern society. We also exploring the theme of Pandrogyny (positive androgeny) a term coined and executed by musician Genesis P-Orridge, cult icon and singer in the bands Throbbing Gristle and Psychic TV. This term describes when two people merge themselves together by the physical and aesthetic manipulation of their bodies in order to create a 'third being' , the 'pandrogyne', a state of exsistance that only exists as a result of the union between two individuals. His philosophies were creatly inspired by writer William Burroughs, and artist Brion Gysins, use of the cut up technique that they applied to literature, as well as audio and visulas. In regards to the etching, the image is of Samuel, dressed as a female... I wanted to try and represent this as an image that would be very traditionaly beautiful. and ambiguous. This is in contrast to the reception that a man dressed as a woman, or any other sort of unusual behaviour, would normally recieve from the general public as a whole, as they would certainly not generally be considered beautiful, rather being judged for being different.'

If this is a description of intellectual art, I like it!

Time Out Supports The Museum of London

2009-06-02T00:13:00.001-07:00

2009-06-01T23:52:00.000-07:00

Thank God Jeff Dexter chauffeured me and the recently retired legendary journalist David May (who used the nifty 'Hack Typewriters' byline when moonlighting for the late Sixties underground press) to the Museum of London in the Barbican tonight. Without Jeff's guidance, I doubt I would have found the entrance. The Queen Mother couldn't find the museum either when she visited.

It was a sweltering hot evening, and the museum's director, Jack Lohman was sizzling with excitement at the 'enormous potential' the museum now has with Time Out. The youthful Tony Elliott, the institution's founder and owner (he is currently 'considering' selling control of Time Out to help fund online expansion), who has given 'so much' to London gave a worthy speech about Time Out's new special relationship with the museum. The Museum of London will house Time Out's massive archives, and also the museum needs to raise a final £2.3 million to complete their target for creating the new Galleries of Modern London. They are also looking for donors to their "Years of London's History" Timeline, which will wind its way round' the new galleries.

So, who was there at this glittering event? First of all, there was Richard Young the 'celebrity photographer', who was taking paparazzi shots of all the arriving guests. The ex-Time Out journalists almost wet themselves when they saw (Lord) Clive Hollick, the Labour supporting businessman/ex-chief executive of United News and Media - he was the chairman of the Daily Express, and is now a managing partner at the private equity firm KKR (Kohlberg Kravis Roberts). Aspiring gold diggers, he is married.

Also at this glittering shindig (here comes the laundry list) was Pearce Marchbank who did all the early Time Out iconic covers (he told me Mick Jagger keeps his framed bus pass in the lavatory), the film director Alan Parker, the infamous Ernie Ebam, the zany architect Piers Gough, Michael Davis, Andrew Logan, the Pink Floyd's Nick Mason, Alan Yentob and the prolific writer Barry Miles, who kindly credited my quotes he used from my old 'Ritz' Frank Zappa interview for his book on the late icon. Unfortunately, as the acoustics were so noisy, I couldn't hear anything what people were saying, hence no quotes apart from this one from Jeff Dexter:

'How many of the great & good folk here, were at Middle Earth at the Roundhouse Chalk Farm in the summer of 1968, when Tony Elliot & Bob Harris first introduced Time Out publicly?"

I hadn't seen a lot of the guests for years and some of them looked grey haired and unrecognisable. Janet Street Porter looked the same though - Jeff Dexter congratulated her on her display of her 'perfect tits' which conveniently appeared at his eye line. And, I actually recognised James Birch, the art dealer and David Robson - the Daily Express leader writer who is a distant relation. Peter York and pretty Jenny Dearden (whose first husband was Steve Marriot of Small Faces fame) must have portraits in their attics.

It was definitely worth going to the bash tonight, as Mike Plumley, the Managing Director of Blurb, an innovative music PR company is going to send me a list of good new bands to listen too. Hurrah!

A medieval cure for writer's block

2009-05-22T15:32:00.000-07:00

Clive Ashenden, hot from his success of having his last effort, Code Grey (which he starred in, co-wrote and co-produced with Rob Wickings) awarded the Best UK film, screened in competition at the recent Cambridge Super8 Film Festival, has promised to give me a role as a vampire in his next outing, a horror flick.

Both of Clive's parents are practising mediums, and when his mother gave him regression therapy last year, during the treatment, he woke up to find himself incarcerated inside an Iron Maiden, a medieval torture instrument. He is still hesitant to discuss this gruesome experience in depth, but the regression therapy must have done something right, for immediately afterwards, he conquered his writer's block and started scribbling his feature script and an imminent (horror) short, both for Sick Puppy Films (maker of Clive's creation: the notorious Snatching Time).

Fish in Kensington

2009-05-16T15:27:00.000-07:00

I now have an amazing photograph titled 'Deliverance' hanging on the wall in front of my computer. It's a limited edition of ten, taken by the photographer Peter Herbert in 2007. (His photos are 'unusual combinations of people in places using single frames with no cropping of image as links space between people and place'). David Blyth, the New Zealand film director has the same photo hanging in front of his computer in his New Zealand beach house.

'I am fascinated by a shop window in Kensington with fishes used for fishing: the reflection of a busy city street in South Kensington intrigues me as much as does this artificial transposed image of nature in a city environment,' is how Peter describes the inspiration for his unusual photograph.

Peter is also a gallery curator (his next curated exhibition of art work is from Pentonville Prison called 'The Freedom Of Art' at the Conference Centre, St Pancras Hospital from June 19 to August 20) and a committed film buff. (He asks questions like, 'who dubbed Ingrid Thulin's voice in the 1961 Hollywood movie, 'The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse'? Answer: Angela Lansbury). Peter even managed to take a photo of Ken Russell at the recent Alternative Miss World bash at the Roundhouse, and also managed to quiz him about his 'controversial' 1971 flick, The Devils. Peter also does Civil Partnership Photography, and his voluptuous singer songwriter daughter Kiria Ceinwen is in the midst of making her first album.

S.C.U.M. And ART

2009-05-12T14:45:00.000-07:00

.

Schlepped down to the Smithfield Gallery for a 'Shine On' titled exhibition, which consisted of recent work from '25 years of past and present' students of South Hampstead High School. Helen Ralli is an ex-pupil and is now doing a BA Graphic Design course at Camberwell (she also designed the cover for Crushed, my YA novel). Martin Bivand, who acts as the Head of Art at South Hampstead must be doing something right.

Helen's faithful dad John was my escort for the evening and we both decided doing our duty was well worth the effort. Helen Ralli had some of her spooky art on the walls, as well as a film titled 'What do you want if you don't want money?' Judging by her original art, she will never have to worry about future dough. (I'd be happy to decorate her stuff with a red sticker any time).

Surrounding Helen were her friends/housemates: Alice Rigby (on the same course as Helen) and her angelic looking sister, Melissa (Mel for short) who has just completed a 13 date UK tour. She is the (professional) drummer of a 'Darkrock' band called S.C.U.M. She is the only girl in the five piece band. Some girls have all the luck.

The Nick Drake Crowd

2009-05-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

The Legendary Jeff Dexter invited me to 'A Celebration Of' Nick Drake's music at the Cockpit Theatre.

Nick Drake might be dead, but dying young immortalised him. The Cockpit Theatre was packed out with intellectual looking kids, happy to pay respect to their late icon. Personally, I think it's rather weird, there are so many tribute bands around these days emulating their dead heroes, but at least these bands attract a new generation of fans keeping the flames alive. And it's heart warming, that although Nick Drake failed to find an international audience during his lifetime, he is now regarded as the most influential singer-songwriter of the last half century.

Robert Kirby, the man who wrote, arranged and conducted the strings for Drake's music, most notably on 'Five Leaves Left' and 'Bryter Layter' was in the green room, alongside the musicians who peformed during the evening. Stuart Anthony, who performed with Harvey Lord was sensational (his album, 'House of Sun' is too). After he finished his set, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. The other talented musicians on the Bill included Stuart Masters (my doggy bag included soothing tracks from his forthcoming album, 'One Last Look Around'), Helena C Carta, James Edge, My Luminaries, Revere, Gabby Young, Stephen Ellis and Jack Savoretti. I also encountered Ken Sinyard, the Arts editor of the BBC's Ariel staff newspaper. He wanted to know all about my old interview with Frank Zappa, as he is curently writing a tome about avatar rock stars for Omnibus.

Jeff Dexter was the real star of the show: he got on stage to give a nostalgic speech about his old friend Nick Drake (Jeff is on intimate terms with everyone in the Music Industry, alive and dead (including the late Marc Bolan and Jimi Hendrix). And, he actually displayed an historic acoustic guitar , lent to Drake for the photo on the front of the Bryter Layter album, which now belongs to the musician Nick Laird-Clowes. It was so heart warming to see all the musicians gingerly strum on the pricelesss old guitar backstage afterwards!